But, as I am learning during this season, a person can be happy and still be struggling.
I'm struggling to balance it all. The laundry, teaching Lauren, the housework, quality playtime with Lauren, nursing, keeping up with my sweet friends, and most importantly but sadly at the last of my list lately...time with God.
I've noticed a feeling of unease about myself in the last few weeks. I'm happy. I'm joyful and thankful. But, I've been feeling off. Like something is missing. I've been irritable. I've been short and defensive with my husband.
It didn't take too long to realize the culprit... As my Bible collects dust on my nightstand, so does my heart.
Time with God, real and quality time with God, has been non-existent. Of course there have been prayers ushered up in the middle of the night or in the midst of our beautifully crazy days, but I've been missing in-depth study. I've been missing actually sitting with and hearing from God.
The problem is that I need time. And as I type that, I know that that is an excuse. I have time. My problem is that I never feel "caught up" enough on laundry or dishes or housework or organizing that I can use the moments I have when both kids are sleeping (few and far between) to sit down and quiet myself. How do I quiet my mind when I look around my house and it is a wreck?
I desperately need time with God. I'm aching for it.