Friday, March 23, 2012

Twins, These Two

Everyone thinks Easton looks like my dad. :) And after his haircut, I have to agree more than ever!!!!

And of course I had to get this picture of Lauren hugging on her Big Papa. That is just precious.

My Big Boy

Well, it's official...Easton is getting too big.

If I didn't think so before, now after his first real haircut from Nammy I am 100% convinced.

It's almost too much, right? Oh my goodness I love my little man.

Monday, March 19, 2012

No It Ain't No Lie, Baby Bye Bye Bye

Did you get my N Sync reference in the title there? Oh my goodness I am old. What's worse is that at one time I actually l-o-v-e-d that song. Played it nonstop. Knew the dance moves and hand motions. I'll quit now.

This post is really about something much more important than late 90's early 00's boy bands. Although some might argue there is nothing more important than the mark they left on our country. I. Am. Kidding.

This post is about REMOVING WALLPAPER! Removing very floral, very in your face, very not my style in any way shape or form wallpaper. We bought the house knowing we would have lots and I do mean LOTS of wallpaper to remove, but we were up for the challenge. And challenge it has been. They put this stuff on with super glue, people. I guess the thought of their beautiful (and did I mention FLORAL) wallpaper falling down drove them to madness when they put it up.

Here is an up close and personal shot of the design. Lovely, right? Oh, no? You don't like? Why, whatever for?

And here is my studdly husband after hours of scoring and spraying and scoring and pealing tiny bits off and spraying a whole lot more and waiting and spraying. This was the first piece that came off in somewhat of a sheet. He's proud. (Oh and see that room behind him...yep that paper is coming down soon too!!!)


Such a fashion statement, this wallpaper.  I bet the kids from Project Runway could make something fabulous out of it.

And this is quite possibly my favorite part of the whole taking down wallpaper bit. Easton crawled over and found the scorer and started using it on the wall. He. Is. So. Smart. Watch the video below the is priceless too.

We still have a long way to go. There is still a ton of wallpaper up. But, it sure feels good to say bye bye to some of it! Imagine me doing the hand motions right now. Yep, you got it. ;)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Monday Was a Rough Day

I'm posting over at When You Rise today but I thought I would include this here today as well so that I can have it to look back on. :)

Ahhh, nap time.

I will the tension to release from my body so that I can breathe again.

I am hoping for peace and yet all I hear are the accusations against me and the guilt that rises up fast and chokes my airways.

I got frustrated. I yelled. I sighed heavily and showed my kids my disappointment. I was distant. Pre-occupied with chores and bills and email messages to respond to. I forgot once again that they are children. That they are learning.

I forgot that I am their teacher. 

The house is quiet, but my heart is not. I feel the tears sting and I taste failure again.

And how will they learn kindness and compassion if I show them a short fuse and frustration? How will they learn to trust me if I am half-present, my nose in my phone to escape the chaos? And you'd like one more show? Of course, because mama needs some time...away.

My heart breaks. Because I've lost sight of my job. I've lost sight of my calling. I've treated these little ones underneath me as unworthy of my time and devotion. Unworthy of my tears and toil. Unworthy of my patience and consistency.

And yet, I know deep down that they are so very worthy. Worthy of all that I can give them and more because God created them and gave them to me for a time. He chose me as their mama. And, they deserve more than I have given. They deserve more than my half-hearted attempts.

I find the verse, long ago highlighted in my Bible. I had memorized it once. Perhaps during another season like the one I am in. When the word weary truly described me as it does now.

"Let us not become weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a
 harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

The beauty of God's Word is that you can taste Him in it. The words roll off my lips and God stirs my heart again.  

And I soak up these words from my Savior and know that He alone will give me strength to keep doing good for my children. I cannot do this alone. I should not do this alone. His grace covers my failures. His mercies are new. And I am finally able to breathe deeply again. 

And so during this quiet nap time, I contemplate what I can do on these days when I am spiraling downhill and full of frustration, with myself and with them. Would you like to read my list? It's written from my situation, but maybe it will motivate or encourage you as well?

~Pray, asking God for His strength not my own
~ Turn on some music
~ Open up the blinds/windows
~ Better yet...get outside
~ Take a shower
~ Have a special story time
~ Bust out the play doh
~ Make some coffee
~ Pray that the fruit of the Holy Spirit would grow in me
~ Do something messy
~Tickle them...a lot
~ Dance
~ Build a tower of blocks and then knock them over
~ Pray some more
~ Speak words of affirmation over my children...tell them exactly what I love about them
~ Remember the years of dreaming of having children....realize I am living my dream right now
~ Have a snack picnic outside...or on the living room floor
~ Practice giving thanks....the dirty diaper means a healthy child, the laundry pile means loved ones near, the dishes in the sink mean food enough for us
~ Pray for forgiveness, thank God for His mercy and grace

I know these are simple. And yet, I also know that sometimes the most simple things can be the most life-changing and the most profound. 

Lord, these children are a gift from You to me. You have entrusted me with their tender hearts, their tiny hands. May I be a safe place for them to come, free from negative looks or disappointed sighs. Lord, I know that so much of what they will learn of You comes from me. What a task You have entrusted me with. I am so unqualified and yet somehow I am the most qualified because You chose me to be their mama. Permeate this home with your presence Lord and may I be like glass that 
reflects Your light and love to those precious babies. 
In Jesus Holy name, Amen. 

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

A Sunshiny Day

It was beautiful here today. Outside, of course. But maybe even more beautiful inside:

Oh Rapunzel, Let Down Your Hair!

Lauren is 3 1/2 and my sweet mama has cut trimmed her hair once. It's always been so beautiful and curly at the bottoms. Here lately, though, it has become kind of a huge mess. It's a fight to get her to let me fix it and she is pretty much over bows (which could usually tame the unruly locks.)

So, the other night I decided to blow dry her hair after her bath. She was such a trooper! She didn't whine or complain once. Then, I used my flat iron on it to smooth it down a little and this is what the back ended up looking like:

Isn't it soooooo pretty? And then, of course, here are some front pictures. :) I love this little girl SO much.

So as we move (sob!) from one stage to the next with this little girl, I am happy to know we have a new method for fixing her hair. :) And, I know, she looks WAY too big, right?!?!

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Happy Eleven Months, Easton!!!!

Dear Easton,

Hey big boy! You are 11 months old! What?!?! How in the world did that happen? I think back on the day you were born almost a year ago and I just can't believe how much you have grown, how much you have brought to my life. You have grown me, challenged me, and shown me time and time again that love builds day after day.

You are a funny little guy. You definitely have your own personality! You are mad when you are mad and you are happy when you're happy. You can throw the biggest fits I've ever seen and then turn around and give me huge hugs and pat my back. I think you might be figuring out how to work your little world. ;)

You make the funniest faces (and I really tried to capture the one above, but you are just so it is a little blurry!) You know how to play peek-a-boo!!! You put your chubby little hands over your eyes and then throw them down really fast. It is seriously adorable! You can also play patty cake. Lauren loves singing to you and you will clap and dance along. You love to dance and I can catch you bobbing up and down or shaking your head to the beat when I have music playing.

You love your soft blanket. You can't go to church or BSF without it. You can't sleep without it. When it is night-night time you always wave at everyone and then after I nurse you you reach for your blanket and bed. You lie down sleepy but not asleep and hardly ever have a hard time getting to sleep on your own.

You love to be outside. Now that the weather has gotten a little bit nicer out, we can get out more which is really nice! If I say "outside" you will crawl toward the door. Ha! I have a feeling we will be spending a lot of time outdoors this spring and summer. :)

You LOVE to take baths. I seriously think you could play in one for hours if I would let you. You splash the water and play with all the toys. If you are ever fussy beyond normal, all we have to do is put you in the water and you calm right down.

I love you so much bubba. My heart seriously melts looking at you. I am so thankful for the little boy you are. I feel completely inadequate and unqualified to raise a mighty warrior for God, but I am praying daily for you son.

I love you to the moon and back fourteen million times!


Spinning Circles

I have big dreams.

I have big plans.

And I am passionate about these dreams and plans. Often I spend lots and lots of time perfecting them in my mind.

But, you know what I don't do enough of? Wanna know what I'm NOT good at?

Walking those dreams and plans out. 

Putting feet to them.

Just. doing. the. thing. 

I'm the one who pins a zillion cool ideas, buys the supplies for them, and then lets them sit in a corner somewhere because she is too afraid to fail at creating them.

I'm the one who wants so badly to rise before the kids and yet still chooses the pull the covers back over her head in the mornings.

I'm the one who never gets anything done because she can't start a project if she knows she won't be able to finish it.

Well, I'm realizing something in this beautiful and SO very crazy season of life I am in. I am NOT going to be able to finish a project in one sitting. It just ain't gonna happen.

I'm also realizing that if I don't start somewhere I am always going to feel a mile behind. I am always going to just be spinning circles around myself, writing yesterday's to-do's on tomorrow's list.

I have a long way to go...and I'm afraid of failing.

But - here goes.