I started this December off with high expectations for myself and our Christmas season.
One of the first things I felt called to do was to let Facebook and Twitter go for the season. Honestly, I haven't missed them one bit. It has been fourteen days and I've truly not been tempted to check or look at either one of them. I'm trying not to be prideful about that. I know how quickly I can fall back into old habits.
But,in spite of how well that part of my life is going, today I feel as though I am losing it. I really wanted to focus on the true meaning of Christmas this year. I had these ideas of idyllic days spent listening to Christmas music, baking cookies, and spending precious time with my family. Instead, it's been stress and sickness and way too much TV watching. I'm feeling frustrated. While I try so hard to be PURPOSEFUL and QUIET and STILL this season it seems like my mind keeps filling up with the "urgent". For instance, I don't have my Christmas cards mailed. I don't have them stuffed or addressed. We still do not have everyone a Christmas present. I've been working on a special project with Lauren for family members and it is taking forever. And I want to quit it because that is what I do. But, I can't. I've invested toooooooo much into it already. Lauren has been sick for what feels like forever and our days are filled with snotty noses, crying, coughing, and watching too many cartoons. That last bit in and of itself makes me feel like a failure.
So, how do I stop this crazy train before December 25th passes and I've once again rushed and stressed through the season? I know there is no perfect Christmas and maybe that is part of my problem. My expectations were too high. I want my joy back!!!