because they say it better...

Tonight Shawn is playing poker and I am taking some time for myself. I should be in bed, but instead I found a few great reads that I'd like to share with you.

This post brought tears to my eyes as I was reminded how very much I love my Savior and yet, how little I proclaim it.

This post... this post by the same blogger made me weep. If you are a nursing mama be prepared for the ugly cry. I am still not recovered.

When I read this post on journaling, I was convicted of how I use my journaling time. Am I growing? Am I being real?

If you are looking for great reads for the summer, this post by my friend, Tara, is wonderful. A true lover of literature, this girl knows her books.

Finally, this post is about saying yes in parenting. Definitely food for thought.

you know you're a mom when . . .

your living room bookshelf now looks like this:

she's very musical, you know

shake,

shake,

shake,

shake ya booty


shaka, shaka, shaka, shake!

Lauren LOVES the radio. She turns up the volume and dances to whatever song comes on. Yesterday I was cleaning her room and she was playing with her radio and I kid you not - she turned it to a station that was playing "St. Patrick's Day" by John Mayer! She turned the sound up and danced and danced...and so did her mama! This is a girl with some mighty fine music taste and some suh-weet moves.

a confession

Lauren does not like to watch baby videos. Some little ones are just enthralled by them and will stop whatever they are doing when they come on. Not my Lolo. She could care less about some video with bright pictures and soothing music. In a stupid state of mind driven by an extremely good sale, I purchased the Hooked on Baby dvds made by Hooked on Phonics. Oh I knew she would probably never sit still long enough to actually learn something but the price and my dreams of a few moments to myself pushed me forward. I've probably had these dvd's for a month or so but I just never got around to putting one in. I mean seriously why would I waste my time trying to find 3 different remotes to get it all set up just so she could crawl down the hall into the bathroom and pull all my toilet paper off of the roll?! Come on now, I know my daughter well for pity's sake.

Today I decided I was going to try this whole video thing again. I mean my primary focus is her learning, right? I had a briliant plan that involved her high chair and yummy snacks. Beware - this is not for the faint of heart. I know... I know the research out there about not putting baby in front of a tv and, horror of horrors, the stories of babies growing up to be obese because their mamas let them eat in front of the tv (gasp!). I know those things, but you know what - yesterday I didn't care! There I was breaking all kinds of cardinal sins. But, let me tell you something - it worked. Glory, glory it worked!

And here, my friends is the proof:

Isn't that beautiful? And if you don't think so, I'd be glad to let you borrow my overly inquisitive and extremely fast 11 month old for an afternoon. I am sure every single one of your cabinets, drawers, and shelves would look exactly the same when she left as they did when she got there. Oh yes, I am just sure of it.

girlfriends

Thursday night was girls night round these here parts. When Shawn watches Lauren we always call it a Daddy Date. I don't know who started it, but it has kind of stuck around. I like the thought of Lauren having special times with her daddy as she grows up. What sweet memories. She is one lucky girl!

Anyway, we went to eat at Houlihans and it was really good although the service left much to be desired! We got there around 7 and did not stop talking until finally at 10:30, I said - "Girls, I am tired!". We were supposed to go bowling also, but who wants to put on stinky shoes and bowl 10 gutter balls when you are having a blast just talking to each other. My husband totally doesn't get the whole talking for hours on end part. Oh well...it's just a girl thing I guess. And my oh my did we have some deep conversations. I mean really, it is totally important to discuss the impact Michael Jackson has had on our lives (well...not me - I am totally not in to him) and the new purses/wallets/clothing/accessories we were each wearing. On a more serious note we also talked about the ins and outs of our lives at this current time. I'm glad to have girlfriends who know me and still love me!!!

shall I clarify?

I wrote the previous post before bed and I've had some time to process and sort of step out and away from that place. Okay, I've had a lot of time to process and step away...in bed, under my snuggly comforter where sleep alluded me last night and thoughts fought for attention until my head felt like it might explode.

I did the first night of homework last night in, Me, Myself, and Lies (the bible study by Jennifer Rothschild I am doing this summer). Part of the homework was to look at ways people in the bible used "I Am" statements. Then, we were to fill in that sentence for ourselves. Here's the deal...last night I pretty much listed all the things "I Am" that I don't want to be. The things that I feel known for that maybe aren't of God. Am I clarifying anything or just muddying the water up more? So - while last night's post might have been a bit uncomfortable for anyone to read, I am really trying to figure out the person I am supposed to be. I am not depressed. I am not hopeless. I am simply trying to be open enough to get some things changed while I can. I don't want to change the things that make me "me" because I whole heartedly believe that, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalm 139:14. I believe that God created me to be a people person and to like to laugh. I believe that I am supposed to honor the personality God created in me. I just don't want to over-do it and become someone I am not. I want to be known as nice not overbearing - funny not obnoxious - happy not overly exciteable - peaceful not tempermental - a listener not a stealer of attention - composed not loud. I have a lot of work ahead of me!

I am truly excited for this study. If one night can arouse this much in me I can only imagine what the next weeks will hold.

too much?

Beware - this is a short, reflective post. I'm just working some things out here on my ole blog...

Lately (as in especially tonight) I've been wondering if I am too much. Is my personality too much for others? Am I too crazy? Am I too loud? Do I try too hard to be funny? Do I try too hard to be something I'm not?

Do I overshadow other people with my personality? Do I try to be the center of attention? Do I let other people know how important their words are to me or do I even give them the chance?

I feel so strange tonight. I can just sense this discord within myself. I recognize that what I described above describes me and I am totally embarrassed. I am at odds with myself, with my personality.

daddy

There has been nothing sweeter to me in this whole world than watching my husband fall head over heels in love with his little girl. She had him wrapped around her little finger from the moment he first laid eyes on her and she hasn't quit charming him. What a beautiful picture they make.

Shawn, I always knew that you were a good man. I always knew you would be a good father. What I didn't know was how good you would be. You have never hesitated to change diapers, read bedtime stories, attend doctors visits, get up in the middle of the night, slow dance with your princess, kiss boo-boos, give baths, brush little teefers, tickle toes, play hide-and-seek, say bedtime prayers, give kisses, go for daddy dates, rock to sleep, get on the floor and crawl around, eat smushed up food from eager to share fingers, or love unconditionally.

You have exceeded every meager expectation I had for the kind of father you would be. I know that the godly example you are for our baby will be so important in the choices she will make in her life. I can only pray that she will find someone faithful and true like you. Thank you for being you - wonderful you.

getting better

Today is going a little better thanks to a strategically timed extra large Coke, getting out of the house for a bit, and a happier little girl. Thanks for the love you guys!

One more stinky thing: Alex has fleas and I am dis-gu-sted to put it mildly. I made a trip to the vet this morning and we are now armed with some mighty strong flea defense as well as a spray for our home. Don't worry - Lauren and I are leaving Sunday so Shawn will spray then. Anyway, I have been on a mad cleaning spree throughout the house and I keep feeling like things are crawling on me. Isn't that nice? I HATE fleas. I hate bugs. I hate bugs that infest your house. I sort of hate Alex right now because he has fleas. Isn't that mean. I'll get over it...but it hasn't helped my cruddy week.

On a brighter note, my friend Kelly is preggo and due ANY DAY! I am beside myself with excitement. I cannot wait to meet little Ryan and hear that little baby cry. Love it! I'm praying that she has that little tyke before I leave Sunday because I will be so sad if I miss it. I'm teaching VBS at my church back home but I'll drive back to see them if Ryan decides to wait!

Oh, also I am so excited because I am doing the study Me, Myself, and Lies by Jennifer Rothschild this summer and I am PUMPED. The study deals with, "our destructive, unrealistic, self-talk." Ummmm, hello - this book has my name ALL OVER IT. This is part of the on-line bible study hosted by Beth Moore this summer. Wanna do it with me? Leave me a comment and I will get you info on the group my friend Tammy is forming. We'd love to have you!!! If you can't join the group, you can still participate in the study with us. Anyway - just let me know!!! I think it will be challenging and fun. Sometimes I have a hard time being totally honest with myself during a bible study. I think this one will be hard not to confront the areas I need desperate help in. As a side note, if you live in Springfield the Lifeway store is out of the study, but I got my book at CPO for $12.95.
Now - I need to be cleaning...so I am off! Peace, ya'll.

one of those days

Today was one of those days. You know the kind where your feelings are literally teeter-tottering all over the place. The kind where your nerves are about to do a free fall off any edge of sanity you have. The kind when all your best intentions are still where you left them at 7 this morning and there is really nothing but a pile of clean laundry pulled from the dryer and thrown on the bed to show for your day. That has been my day.

I think Lauren is teething. No, I hope Lauren is teething because I have no other explanation for her sudden CRANKINESS and inability to unlatch her claws and/or whole person from my person. Her morning nap was great but her afternoon nap was terrible. She was sooo tired but refused to stop screaming long enough to catch some zzzz's. And as if listening to a screaming baby isn't stressful enough, I was trying to work through our finances and get them back in some semblance of shape. Every 5 minutes or so I would have to stop what I was doing and go into little Miss Sunshine's room to pick her pacifier up from the floor and put her back down. I thought I was going to throw my own fit. In fact, I might have done just that in the privacy of my own living room...but I'll never tell. She finally went to sleep but then I had that mommy guilt creep in for making her take a nap when she really needed one and for being frustrated with her. Isn't that the best?

Then tonight, I spoke with someone near to me and it all came out wrong and how I meant it but not how I meant it and there was really no going back. I got annoyed, she got annoyed. The conversation ended horribly and I'm not sure yet how to mend the situation or if I am supposed to. Basically I am smack dab in the middle of a rock and a hard place.

That's it. That has been my day. I'm hoping yours was much better. I think it will be an early night for me. But first, I really do need to fold those clothes on the bed and put them away.

more music

I just purchased Joshua Radin's CD, Simple Times, from ITunes and let me tell you it is gloriously beautiful. I'm posting a couple videos of the songs on the album for your enjoyment.

Now if you'll excuse me I have a house to clean and new songs to sing!!!

how romantic is that?

Lately it feels like I don't have much to say. Hard to imagine, right? It seems I just haven't been able to top the mind blowing, life changing, make you laugh until you cry posts I've been producing faithfully these last couple of weeks. ***If you are new to my blog or don't know me well - I was totally being sarcastic there***

I've been re-reading the Twilight series (haters please feel free not to comment) and I've found that they are better the second time through. I'm not usually a read it twice kinda girl. In fact, there are few books that I will actually take that journey with. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers and The Mark of the Lion series also by Ms. Rivers are some of the chosen ones. Anyway - as I've been reading I've starting wondering (several of you out there have been kind enough to talk this through with me) what Twilight-type romance books do for young adults. If you haven't read the series, the two main characters are locked in a fierce love. The male is painted as "perfect" both physically and in the way that he loves the female character. I'm just thinking that for young girls out there who are really looking for their soul mates maybe a good dose of reality should be what they are reading. Yes, love is wonderful. Yes, passion is great. Yes, physical attraction is good in marriage. Yes, yes, yes. But, what happens when the romantic guy you dated starts getting comfortable and stops holding the door for you? What happens when you've both worked long long weeks and the passion just isn't there automatically? What happens when we get older and our physical beauty starts to change? (Notice I did not say fade away.) All I am saying, and I am not doing a very good job, is that I think that we need more than just fairy tales and fantasies. Love is work. Sometimes I think a false reality is painted in many young adult books. It can't be helping the divorce problem in America, can it?

So - this is a little off subject, but kinda on as well... Don't you love that? I'm all about making the read enjoyable. I love Lori McKenna. She is a gifted singer/songwriter and her song, Unglamorous is the inspiration behind my blog subtitle. Home Life = John Mayer song.... Totally Unglamorous...but perfectly us = Lori McKenna song. Can you tell I am a lover of lyrics and music? Anyway - here is a song by the talented Ms. McKenna about real life love and marriage. I love it and hope you do too...

& you thought you knew everything about me...

I saw this cute little questionnaire on a creative blog I like to visit and I thought it might be fun to complete it.

according to me:

When I was a child... I had big red glasses like Sally Jesse Raphael and I loved them.
I can't imagine my life without... my family or sunshine
If I could be anywhere, I'd be... on a vacation with my family - somewhere sunny - somewhere I could read with the sun on my back and the wind blowing gently on my face :)

My least favorite chore is... cleaning out the fridge or folding laundry

If I could be on any tv game or reality show, it would be... So you think you can Dance...in my fantasy - I would actually be able to dance like those people
If a mystery package arrived on my doorstep, I'd hope it would be... a huge box of craft things that I would never buy myself, a giant gift card to Hobby Lobby, or shoes

My guilty pleasure is... chocolate and coke (the legal kind)

I thought I would never... be a stay at home mom

If a genie granted me three wishes, I’d wish for... health and long life for my family and loved ones, never having to work out but always looking fit, a maid service to clean my house

You would never guess it, but I... once had my belly button pierced

Now it is your turn!

isn't it lovely?

Do you love it as much as I do??? Didn't Traci do a great job? Seriously, I am so happy with the new blog design!!! It feels just right for this season of my life. Thanks, Traci - you are amazing and I loved working with you!!!

Tonight's agenda:
eat dinner
get Lauren to bed
the Dreaded Shred
to bed early, hopefully

woo hoo

Oh my goodness you have NO idea how excited I am....Traci has been working on my new blog design and it is going up today sometime! :) I LOVE IT and I hope you do too!!! She is seriously such a great person and so incredibly easy to work with. The poor thing put up with me in all my indecisive glory but I am so glad because the blog feels just like me. She deserves a medal or at least a big shiny gold star!!! I might have some of those packed up in my attic! Anyway - go check out her design blog and get hooked up with her. You won't regret it!!!