High Five for Friday!

Here are my top 5 moments/things from the past week in no particular order! ;)

1. Funfetti Cake Mix Dip. Y'all this stuff is ah-mazing. Life changing even. You can eat it with animal crackers, graham crackers, or just take a spoon to it. Whatev...I won't judge you. The great thing about it is that if you use low fat ingredients and have a little bit of self control it isn't all that bad for you. Unless you are cutting sugar completely. Then, just look away. Look. Away.

2. My sweet hubby is making my downstairs bathroom dreams come true. Thankful for a clearance Target rug, some old pallet boards found in our woods, and Pinterest. I can not wait to show you.

3. The weather has been pretty awesome this week. We went to the park twice. Had a great experience one day and a NOT so great experience the next. Let's just say if your child comes up behind my youngest child on the slide and instead of waiting patiently for him to push off and slide down, your child decides to place both of his (much larger) feet on my child's back and kick him down the slide I might have some stern words for your child. Beware of mama bear.

4. Trying to figure out this new bloggy stage I'm in. Super thankful for some AMAZING friends with wise and kind words. Also thankful for my sweet friend Miranda cause she's designing me a new space over here. Maybe seeing something new will inspire me again?

5. These safety pins from Ballard design are going in my laundry room. They are huge and have an awesome vintage feel. I cannot wait for them to get here!!!! Is it sad that this type of thing makes me so excited?

I'm linking up to High Five for Friday. 

Crossroads

I feel like I am at such a crossroad with social media right now. I made a commitment to stay off of FB for the month of October. I made my Twitter feed private. I have been trying to figure out how to use Instagram without it going out for the world to see.

I'm starting to feel my head clear from all the static that is the online world.

And then there is this blog of mine. Some days I am absolutely ready to close her down. Then others I think I just need to go private. I have no idea what all going private would entail....goodness knows it would probably be way over my head. 

I guess I just don't know what to do. So that might explain the randomness of my posts. I'm trying to figure out the identity of this space. 

And to the two of you who read this, if you have any thoughts/ideas/suggestions feel free to let me know. :)

On Being a "Helicopter" Mom

Y'all I got a little tiffed yesterday. I read an author say that she was not a helicopter mom. She didn't follow her kids up the slide at the playground...

Well - you see....yesterday I had done just that. Yep. I took my sweet babies to the park and I climbed and traversed that whole piece of equipment with them. I held my little man on my lap so he could go down the biggest slide like his sister. I watched over Lauren as she climbed the rock wall and cheered her on when she accomplished it. Does that make me a helicopter mom?

I don't think so. I think it makes me an involved mom.

I only have this day with my kids and if I want to get completely in their world and play on the playground equipment with them I will! I don't want these precious babies I have been entrusted with to feel as though they are a burden to me. They want me to play with them. There will be a day when they won't. They will be just fine to play without me. I don't want to miss this.

So I laughed and ran and slid and cheered. And I would do it again.

Happy Birthday, Shawn!

Dear Shawn,

Happy 31st Birthday, baby!!!! Did you ever imagine your life as a 31 year old when you were a kid? Could you have ever imagined being loved so much? I doubt it. ;)

As I sit here and think about you on this special day, I am once again reminded of how very blessed I am. I don't say that lightly. I know it deeply. Ten years ago we were just getting to know each other. I had an inkling that you were my forever love, but I had no idea how beautiful and stretching and glorious and downright hard the next ten years would be. I say that knowing I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm honored to be your wife. Honored to be the one you love and devote your heart to. Humbled to be loved so completely by you when I know that I'm not easy to love.

Have I told you lately how proud I am of you? You are 31 today and yet you are so much more mature and wise than those numbers. You've always been quietly sure of yourself. You've never needed to live a crazy or meaningless life. You know who you are in the Lord and you honor him with your life. Every single day. You are successful at whatever you put your mind to. I've watched your career grow and your work ethic shine over these ten years together and I stand beside you so proud that you are mine. You've earned your position, darling. God has blessed the work of your hands and he continues to guide you. I'm so proud of you for following and heeding him.

You are the brick and mortar to our home. You hold us together and keep us moving forward. You make wise choices and I trust our future under your careful watch. Thank you for that....I'd be in debt and homeless without you I'm sure.

One of the things I love best about you (there are so many!) is the way you interact with our babies. You make time for them even when you are flat out exhausted. You change diapers. You get up in the middle of the night. You rock, cuddle, sing, pray, and tickle our kids until they know without a doubt how very much they are loved. Every night before your head hits the pillow you go in and check on both of them. You make sure the covers are on and the room isn't too hot or cold. Do you know how beautiful that is?

I know they can't tell you exactly how much they love you, but I'm pretty sure you have a good idea that you are adored by Lauren and Easton. Your little princess thinks you hung the moon and races to the truck when you pull up every day. And the little mini-Shawn that runs around this house like a maniac? He's obsessed with you. They are so blessed to have you as their father. They don't know it right now but Lauren will look for a man like you and Easton will long to be a man like you. As a mother, I couldn't ask for anything better than that.

On your birthday, my love, I hope that you realize how much you mean to us (and to SO many others) and how much you are loved.

I'm in love with you Shawn Barry.

Yours forever,
Jen

        

Making Mistakes as a Mama

Yesterday I failed as a mama. And I wore the sin of that failure all day long.

It was early. Much too early to already be at my limit. Too early to get frustrated at that one hundred and fiftieth, "Moooooooooooom." We had a play date to get to. I was trying to get myself ready and I'd just finished putting the cutest little braid in Lauren's hair. I had no idea she would hate it so much. I had no idea that that one braid would send me shooting off of the cliff right into the crashing waters below. 

She started to whine. She started to cry. The braid, she hated it. She wanted it out of her hair. How would her headband fit, she cried? 

And, me? Well, I lost it. 

I yelled. Loud and full of a million other hurts that have been on my mind, I let her have it. I knew in that moment of the yelling that I was wrong. I knew that I was sinning. But, I couldn't get over myself and my frustrations long enough to stop. 

It was absolutely the worst. 

As she sat there in the bathroom with tears rolling down her face and I turned back to my makeup and routine, I realized with a piercing quickness that I had to fix this damage I had just done. 

I turned around and got down on my knees right before her tiny little face. I looked at her,  full of hurt and questions, and I said the only thing that mattered....I said, "I'm so sorry." She leapt, I mean literally catapulted herself, into my arms and I knew in that moment she forgave me. Simple as that. 

I told her that I was wrong. I told her I shouldn't have yelled, even if I was frustrated. I asked her if she forgave me and she nodded her head vigorously and then hugged me again. 

She moved on, but the sinful nature of the way I reacted followed me, haunted me, throughout the day. Of course, I confessed my sin to God. I asked his forgiveness and I know that just as quickly as my precious daughter forgave me, so did he. But, the memories of my actions....those stayed with me. 

Lauren? She let it go completely. As I tucked her in to bed last night and we shared our, "happy days & sad days" I told her my sad day was yelling at her. I asked her again if she forgave me. She looked at me with a puzzled expression as she tried to remember this infraction against her. Meanwhile, the memory was burned into my brain. I'll never forget what she said to me. She said, "but mama you already told me if I forgive you," translation - mama, we've been over this....you are forgiven. I smiled at her and thanked her for being so kind to me and then I tucked her tight into bed surrounded by bedtime prayers of sweet dreams and protection. 

Being a mama is hard. There are days that are brighter than the sun and there are days that are downright ugly. 

I'd say that yesterday was a mixture of both for me. How thankful I am for the forgiveness of my Heavenly Father and the daughter I love more than I could have ever imagined. 

P - A - R - K!!!!

Since we've moved to our new little town the one thing we've probably missed the most (or at least tied with the library) are the public parks. In the town we used to live there were parks on every corner. Good parks too.

We finally ventured out to the only park I know about here in our town...right next to the sad, sad excuse for a library. I was hopeful. I mean, it's a park, right? And, while it wasn't terrible....it was definitely not as awesome as some we've been to.

Lauren wasn't a fan of the sand. Surprise, surprise.

 

What a little sweetie this girl is...she absolutely melts my heart. And, also, can someone please tell me how she is this big. I am fairly positive I had her just a few hours ago. :(

This, my friends, was huge. She made it all the way across the moving step-thingies (I'm pretty sure that isn't the correct name for this particular piece of equipment, but we are rolling with it) all by herself. Ya'll....all.by.herself! Proud moment.

Another proud moment? My youngest eating rocks. Really son?!?! Rocks? Playground rocks? Dude. Gross.

Some of you will be shocked that after all the equipment playing and the rock eating that I let my kids touch food and then place it in their mouths....however - you would have missed the tiny green container full of AWESOMENESS (don't tell me bad stuff about hand sanitizer...I don't want to hear it, k?!) that kills all the ugly germs from our hands. 

Also, sorry about this pic of your eyes Lolo. I know you don't really have a weird eye in real life. Love you, baby!

Probably Easton's favorite (and Lolo's least favorite) part of our little adventure to the park was our trek down some steep rocks to sit by the river. He was obsessed. She was over it. She was over it before we even went down there. "Mom, those are rocks. Mom, I can't go down there I will fall. Mom there are leaves and bugs. MOM!!!!!" Meanwhile, Easton had already traversed himself about halfway down so she was forced out of her comfort zone while we chased after him.

Oh my goodness. I love this pic for so many reasons, but I'll just name a few. Easton could care less about us. In fact, it looks like he is thinking, "oh my gosh....these girls. Get me out of here. I am not with them." Then there is Lauren. What can I say about that? Pure awesomeness. Oh, and myself....aside from the no makeup and hair pulled back I love that I am looking at who in the world knows what. This is what a picture looks like when you take two kids to the park by yourself.

Oh and of course, how could I forget this major milestone. That's my baby. My BABY for crying out loud on a big kid swing. He loved it. Couldn't get enough.

And, my other baby....goodness these kids are growing too fast.

All in all, though the park was a tad bit icky, we had a great time. It was impromptu. It was just the three of us and it was pure goodness.

A Fun Day

Today we had the privilage of watching Ryan while his mama and daddy found out whether they were having a little BOY or GIRL! We had such a great day and are all thoroughly worn out! I thought I'd share some of our highlights.

1. Feeding and hanging out with the fishies!

2. Running, running, running. Even Easton did his best to keep up with the princess and the dinosaur. ;)

3. Playing a little kickball.

4. Swinging in the shade.

 

 

5. Picking acorns.

6. Baking muffins.

7. Building a fort.....

...and figuring out it was a cozy place for some good reads. 

We had so much fun and would do it again any day! As I loaded up my THREE kids for the day to head back to Tanner and Kelly's for the big gender reveal party I couldn't help but smile at the sweet cuties all piled in my car.

Apparently I am a great driver because when we arrived at our destination....they were both O.U.T. :)

Beautiful day full of laughter and tickles and books read and snacks. I certainly felt blessed. :)