prayer journal

I started a prayer journal in high school. I can't remember why, but I am so thankful that I did. Keeping a record of my life through the prayers I have prayed has been such a blessing. Anytime I need reassurance of God's mercy on my life, I look at the hundreds of prayers he has answered. Some of them are small and seem very silly now and some of them are huge and still leave me speechless.

Over the years it has been a great joy to use a prayer journal to document my journey with God. I don't write in it every day, but I do try to keep a regular list of prayers that are on my heart. Sometimes I bullet the specific prayers I have and other times I write to God from my heart. Each of these journals are very intimate to me. There are seasons of sin and sorrow as well as joy and worship. There are breaks in the dates where I have been the prodigal son. I've gone on to do my own thing only to run back to the Lord. Those return entries are some of the most meaningful to me. When I have been in the deepest pit of sin I've found courage and peace in writing out my prayers. When I have been on the highest mountain I have found joy and freedom in praising God on the pages of my journal.

One of the journals pictured above is actually a running book of letters to Lauren. I've been writing to her since the day she was born. Although it isn't actually a prayer journal, I use it to pray specific prayers over her life. I use it to share some of the things I've gone through, my hopes and dreams for her, and just to tell her over and over how very much I love her. I hope to give it to her some day so she can know how much she was wanted, loved, and prayed for. Maybe I'll give it to her when she is a teen and hates me. Oh, Jesus, please come back before then!

I am thankful that I have these documented prayers over my life. Some of the entries are hard to read - they take me right back to some dark times. It might be easy to slip back into that despair. The joy, however, is in realizing that I am no longer there. My prayers for deliverance and restoration have been answered! God cared about me enough pull me from the pit. He cared enough to pay for my sins and give me a clean heart. My past does not haunt me because He is my future.

Who am I that you are mindful of me, O Lord? You have proven time and time again that you are worthy of my worship. You have never left me - my journals are proof.