The other day I was lamenting to Shawn about how I just feel like I am failing this whole wife/motherhood/stayathomemom/homemaker gig I have going on. It's a great job and yet most days I just feel like I'm chasing my tail.
The look on his face was priceless as I could tell he was struggling internally with whether this was an offer suggestions and help moment or a shut your mouth, listen, and nod emphatically moment. Even though I didn't really want to hear what he had to say (because he's usually thinking what I'm thinking and if I've already thought it then the reason I'm not doing it is because I just plain don't want to) I braced myself and listened.
Of course he was kind and gentle with his words and of course they were spot on with what I already knew.
I needed routine. A purpose for my days at home.
I needed to get my booty up and dressed and have times throughout the day for specific things....school time, chore time, lunch time, errand time, reading time, etc. All stuff I knew. All stuff I'd been putting off doing.
So I took a deep breath and said, I'm going to go do some research (ahem Pinterest) on setting up a routine for us. And he said....
"Jen....just do it. Don't plan it. You are great at planning things but you need to just do it. Follow through. See results. Just do it."
And I wanted to hide in a hole because he knows me so well and if that wasn't the exact truth then I'm not a girl.
So the past couple of days I've been mulling over this new little thought my sweet husband put in my head about just doing it already. Sure, a cute little routine taped to my fridge might make me feel better, but if I don't just suck it up and do it I've gotten nowhere!
I'll never regret playing with my kids, quiet time alone in the mornings, or teaching Lauren to read. But, I will regret time wasted thinking about doing things or searching Pinterest for the best way to do things but never actually getting around to doing them.
So, here's to just doing it! No more creating a list of books to read in 2013....I'm just going to read! No more researching the best way to do at home preschool.....we are just going to learn! No more looking to other people to see how their quiet time looks....I'm just going to meet God the way I am (with what little I have to offer in the mornings!) No more trying to come up with the perfect gift or meal or whatever...I'm just going to do it.
I'm learning over and over again that perfection is my enemy. God hasn't called me to be perfect. He knows I am so far from it. He's called me to daily take on the characteristics of his son, Jesus. When I look at Jesus' life I see that he just did it. Whatever God called him to do, he did. He didn't research or wait or mull over for days that turned into weeks. He just did it. And so, with his help, I will to!