So much goes on around here. So much goes undocumented.
I'm gonna be honest here. I'm not a blogger for the people. I don't really want my voice heard around the world. I have no intentions of growing this blog or being featured somewhere. And yet, I still find myself with fear filled fingertips when it comes time to pour out the words that rattle on in my head. I blogged for a while at a bigger, way more important blog. It wasn't me. I don't have anything against big blogs. I really don't. I read some daily and love them. It just isn't me. The pressure to perform cripples me and changes who I am. That pressure changed blogging from something I loved (and felt quite free about) to something I loathed (and suddenly felt very constrained by)...and I am still recovering from that.
You know what I want this place to be? This little, colorful, quirky place?
Free to not care if one (Hi Papa!!!) or 40 people read the small words I write.
Free to post or not to post.
Free to share my life. To share the raw, beautiful, ugly, sad, and happy. All of it.
Free to have grammar mistakes and way, way, way too many commas and exclamation points!!!
Free to be me. Not an impersonation of myself...not the me I think y'all want to read about. Just plain 'ole weird me.
Free to not worry about who reads.
Free to love John Mayer and Eric Church. ;)
Free to not have a platform. Free to post a thoughtful post one day and pictures of my crazy kids the next.
Free to not be her. The one with the perfect house, eloquent words, or magazine worthy picture takin' skills.
Mostly, I just want to write again.
Here is to taking a great big, refreshing gulp of air and getting rid of all the stuff that's held me tight.
I'm baaaaaaack! Bwahahahah!!!