Friday, July 18, 2008

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing...

So anyone who knows me well knows that patience is really not my thing. I kind of have this thing where if I get something in my has to be done right then and right there. Shawn merely mentions that we could use a new comforter...I am searching the web, checking every store, and I am ready to buy any comforter that might work just to have a new one. It is sick, I know. I have been working on this...but it is definitely a work in progress. It's like once the idea rattles around in my brain I will go crazy unless I can settle it. All that said, this whole not knowing when the baby is going to be here and having no control (even though it is my body that is going through this crazy time) is really tough for me. I am ready for this thing to happen. I am ready to have my little girl here. And there is absolutely nothing I can do to get this settled. It has really been driving me crazy! So, last night as I am wide awake in bed at 1:30 am the thought hits me..."What are your thoughts fixed one?" Oooops....(did I mention it usually takes me a while to see the really obvious things in my life?) duh! My thoughts have been totally transfixed on having this baby. When is it going to happen? Was that a contraction? Is my water going to break as I am standing in this line? Will my family make it in time? Is labor going to hurt as bad as everyone says? What if I have a c-section? What if something is wrong with the baby? And on and on and on. Of course I have been anxious. Of course it's been hard for me to sleep. I have been thinking on the wrong things!

"Finally, bretheren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8

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