Pray

"I am praying for you"

I say those words and I mean them. More than I have in all my 29 years of life I feel like I just might finally get what it means to say I am praying for someone and to actually do it. Not a fleeting thought or a quick, "God be with them" but an all out fervent, feverish prayer to the God who hears me.

I've got friends this week who are hurting. A little one born less than a week ago undergoes open heart surgery this very morning and the tears stream down my face as I pray to God for the doctors who balance powerful tools over his delicate heart. I pray for his mama, a dear friend of mine, and my heart breaks because I can't imagine how her heart is holding up. She is a beacon shining God's light to anyone who watches her go through this trial, but I know she is hurting too and I pray God's specific peace and love over her oversized and oh so tender mama heart.

I have friends with sick kids, and friends who are hurting, and a husband who is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders at his job, and my own mama who has surgery scheduled for April and there is nothing I can do for any of them really but to pray.

I lay awake in bed last night, heart heavy with these prayers and so many more running through my mind. As I poured them out to God I felt overwhelmed at the great need out there for Him to intervene and protect and sustain and give health and strength and it was almost too much. But I read somewhere that I am to pray hardest when it is hardest to pray and so that is what I did and will continue to do. I'll rest in knowing He hears.

Hello Monday

You blew in with a gray sky and I felt the cold toward you instantly. How could you? Just two days ago we were playing in the spring scented wind and here you came pushing winter once more.

Thankfully, my in-laws were here and so I stayed huddled beneath my warm covers and my mother and father in-law cuddled my little girl in the wee hours of morning. E and I stayed smart and cozy in our respective beds like sane people do.

Your sky is just now opening again to the sun that I know is always there and though the temperature is still low and my toes are still cold, I'm warming to you.

Later my little girl and I will go to a real life tea party to celebrate a sweet friend turning five. It's an honor and it makes my throat hurt because in just 5 short months, my firstborn will claim that same title.  And that is simply just not possible because I only just held her for the first time yesterday.

So, hello Monday with all your complexities and changes and beauty. I am thankful for you.