Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Losing It

I started this December off with high expectations for myself and our Christmas season.

One of the first things I felt called to do was to let Facebook and Twitter go for the season. Honestly, I haven't missed them one bit. It has been fourteen days and I've truly not been tempted to check or look at either one of them. I'm trying not to be prideful about that. I know how quickly I can fall back into old habits.

But,in spite of how well that part of my life is going, today I feel as though I am losing it. I really wanted to focus on the true meaning of Christmas this year. I had these ideas of idyllic days spent listening to Christmas music, baking cookies, and spending precious time with my family. Instead, it's been stress and sickness and way too much TV watching. I'm feeling frustrated. While I try so hard to be PURPOSEFUL and QUIET and STILL this season it seems like my mind keeps filling up with the "urgent". For instance, I don't have my Christmas cards mailed. I don't have them stuffed or addressed. We still do not have everyone a Christmas present. I've been working on a special project with Lauren for family members and it is taking forever. And I want to quit it because that is what I do. But, I can't. I've invested toooooooo much into it already. Lauren has been sick for what feels like forever and our days are filled with snotty noses, crying, coughing, and watching too many cartoons. That last bit in and of itself makes me feel like a failure.

So, how do I stop this crazy train before December 25th passes and I've once again rushed and stressed through the season? I know there is no perfect Christmas and maybe that is part of my problem. My expectations were too high. I want my joy back!!!


  1. I read this, and it made me sad. You're doing everything you should to enjoy this season: treasuring moments with your girl, making time for friends, and growing closer to the reason for this season. The other day I heard this, "Many people complain about the craziness of shopping & the commercialization of Christmas, but the true meaning of Christmas is truly gifts; God's gift to us of his son, the people we cherish, & the time we have to celebrate with them.". Enjoy your gift! He picked it out especially for you!

  2. First of all, you know my opinions about tv, but my boys have been sick too and they've watched a LOT of it the last week or two as well. I actually think it's a good way to keep their little minds off how they feel without physically wearing themselves out. It's okay to let her watch extra TV until she feels better. Don't beat yourself up.

    As for all the other stress, we're all guilty of losing focus. The difference is that you DESIRE to have your season focused on Christ. We're human. It stinks because that equals imperfection. Thank goodness for his immeasurable grace (I'm pretty sure if it could be measured, I'd have used it up by now). Take a deep breath and smile. True JOY came down to earth 2000 years ago to take away the consequences of these imperfections and struggles we have today. You will ALWAYS fall short, even on your good days, but HE is our righteousness! Thank goodness and Praise God! The stress will happen, but don't let it take your joy. (And if you get Christmas cards out, I think you're super woman!!!) :)

  3. P.S. I hope that didn't come across as condescending, because I didn't mean it that way at all. I think you are FANTASTIC and simply want to encourage you that you're doing as good a job as any of us (if not better!) :)

  4. I know girl. The special "family project' is about to put me over the edge! I know they will be cherished! Hang in there friend! Love ya!