Tuesday, January 27, 2009

dating my husband

One of the hardest things for Shawn and me during this season of life is making the effort to spend time together...alone. Lauren is 6 months old and we've been on 2 dates. Both of these my mom "forced" us to go on. It's not that I think Lauren can't make it without me, it's just that it is so much easier just to stay home. I know her. I know her schedule. I know when she's fussy because she is hungry, when it is a diaper issue, or if she just isn't feeling herself. Also, I am a bit of a control freak. I don't like not knowing what is going on. Seriously, it is bad. I check the pager at church constantly...I mean she might need me, right?! Never mind that the thing vibrates for goodness sake.

Shawn and I went on our first date about a week after Lolo was born. We went to dinner and it was nice, but I still wasn't feeling myself and I definitely did not feel attractive AT ALL. I was right in the midst of those all encompassing baby blues and just couldn't enjoy myself. Our second date happened last Friday night. My mom watched her again for us. This time I was ready to get out. Lauren was finally taking a bottle again along with rice cereal and baby food so I knew she wouldn't starve. Also, I knew that her Grammy would love on her and play with her all night. It sort of felt like we were sneaking out or something. I was worried it would be awkward or strange, but it really didn't take long for us to fall back in the swing of it. We went to dinner and talked...I mean really talked! I was reminded of all the reasons I fell in love with my husband. Then, we went to see Marley & Me; I cried and he held my hand. We had time to reconnect as husband and wife. I know everybody tells you that is important but it is so easy to let that go.

A friend of mine is doing The Love Dare and seems to really like it. I don't have the book, but I am looking for ways to love my husband better. A few of my ideas are:

~setting aside a once a month date night
~making his home a haven when he comes home from work
~really listening when he explains work stuff (I don't really understand a lot of what he does!)

Do any of you have ways that you date your husband? How do you make him feel loved when you don't feel like it? I'd love to hear what you are doing! I need all the help in this area that I can get.

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