Home Life

Motherhood

2012-01-29T21:04:00.002-06:00

I found this quote the other day from Rachel Jankovic, the author of my favorite parenting book, Loving The Little Years. I immediately printed it out and put it on my fridge to read throughout my days. I can tell you that it has been a huge perspective changer for me and often when I am just about ready to lose it (am I the only one here?) I take a breath and read her thoughtful words again.

"Motherhood as a mission field is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don't like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can't read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them.

Gain that which you cannot lose in them." ~Rachel Jankovic

Doing The Hard Work....And Finding It's Not That Hard

2012-01-26T14:00:00.000-06:00

As I am finding myself emerging from the dark clouds and ever so strong grip of depression I have been evaluating and thinking and praying about the whys and hows of my arriving at the deep dark scary places. What triggered it? How do I need to prepare myself now to keep from going there again? One thing keeps hitting me square in the face....I lost my focus on God. I don't know if that is every reason why I have suffered so much the past months, but I know it played a huge role in the enemy's ability to keep me down.

It's hard for me to stay dedicated. I have a mind that likes to run a million different directions rather than to focus on one thing. I am not a fan of mornings. I tell myself that I will take time throughout the day to read God's word and restore my soul and then it is 10 pm and I am falling into bed. Multiply that by several days in a row and then several months in a row and I can see now why my soul felt empty.

It's hard for me to dedicate time to the Lord. I absolutely hate that about myself. I hate seeing it in writing. But, for me, right now, my hard work (or at least one of the "hard works" I am working on) is to spend time with God. Real, quality, meaningful time. And, I am finding that the benefit from time with God makes up for the discomfort of having to change some habits I've gotten used to.

*My BSF questions for this week. I'm thankful to God for the desire He has given me (that has been missing for so long) to study His word. It is exciting!!!*

Playroom Part 1

2012-01-26T10:46:00.001-06:00

Since we moved into the new house we knew there would be many rooms that needed updating. After sitting and discussing which rooms needed attention first we decided on the playroom. This might sound a little weird considering we have miles of floral wallpaper that needs to come down, but as a stay at home mommy I am in the playroom with the kids a lot. A. Lot. :) Right now it is just plain ugly. So, we are putting our time and energy into completing that room first! I have to say that I am super excited about it and I can't wait until everything is organized and easy to find...we haven't been able to find play-doh or several activities for months since they are still packed away in boxes in the garage. Yikes!

This weekend my sweet mother-in-law is coming into town to help us with the kids while we paint and finish some of the projects that two little ones underfoot would complicate! :) Shawn's brother, Chad, brought us the Ikea Expedit shelving system that I have been drooling over for years when they came down for Christmas. It was seriously the sweetest thing considering it came in two huge boxes that took up valuable space in his vehicle. And he had to go to the store to pick them up (along with a few little Ikea items I have been eyeing for a while now too!!!)

For the past week we have been working on all the little things that have to be done before the fun stuff begins. For one, we took out this super awkward cabinet tucked in a little nook. (I have huge plans for this area that I think will look much better and be more functional!

We are definitely not fans of red walls. It makes it feels so dark and cramped in there.

We were super excited when we discovered the mold growing behind the cabinets....NOT!

My handy hubby cut that junk out and re-drywalled the whole area there. I am so glad...mold scares me.

The mess scares me too.....breathe Jen, breathe.

Here is a view (with awesome dust spots on my camera) from the side of the room where the Expedit shelf will go and the weird nook is....messy playroom!

And here is a view from the messy side. :) Love that my husband was cleaning up the drywall mess. He is such a man and I absolutely adore him.

And finally, here is the view into our living room. You can see the awesome wallpaper that adorns the hallway.....it's the best. ;)

I'll keep updating as we go through. I am really thrilled to make this into a space that is fun and functional. I am also really excited about the magnetic chalkboard wall that will be going up soon!!!!!

Sweet Confirmation

2012-01-25T14:07:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I sent my awesome friend Tammy a text with this picture:

(Yes....those are BALL POINT PENS in an array of BEAUTIFUL COLORS that DO NOT BLEED THROUGH YOUR PAPER and make me OH SO HAPPY. And yes I texted the picture to her because we share a deep and uncontrollable love for all things office supply. The more colorful and cute they are the better. We really get each other.)

Do you want to know how she responded?

"I went and bought those pens last night! As I was opening them this morning, I realize you texted excited about pens!!! That's very Jen like!!! You're coming back!!!"

That, my friends, is sweet confirmation that I am getting better! It touched my heart so much to know that she saw something that might seem like a small detail to most people as a huge turning point for me.

Thanks, Tammy! I adore you!!!!

Here

2012-01-24T15:30:00.001-06:00

I am relearning how to be happy.

Isn't that sad?

I've spent so long looking at my glass as half empty which is really not me at all...I've always been a glass half full kind of girl. So, I'm relearning how to be happy. How to look at that sippy cup of spoiled milk (yep it really happens around here) and see the blessings in it instead of the frustrations.

I'm cutting off those sighs that have made up my days. I'm laughing more.

Turning that frown upside down. I'm praying for gentleness in my voice.

I'm forgetting about the mess. I'm getting on the floor and playing.

And I'm finding joy again.

Because you know what? It's always been there. It's always been here. In this home, in my children, my husband, in this journey God has called me on.

It's a choice for me. "It's a focus on giving not receiving. Focus on healing rather than hurting. Focus on God's power rather than my problems." (Thank you to my awesome pastor for these timely words just a few weeks ago that have been resonating and taking root in my heart!!!)

Joy comes when I have the right perspective. Joy is right here. Joy is not unattainable. Joy is a choice.

Right here.

SO GOOD!

2012-01-24T10:35:00.000-06:00

As you know I have been struggling lately, but God has been SO gracious to me. Seriously, I cannot even begin to explain the work he is doing in my heart. I have been praying and praying and praying and praying that God would turn my heart of stone to a heart of flesh....that he would give me a new heart and put a new spirit in me (Ezekiel 36:26) and you know what?!?! He is answering that prayer! For the first time in too long I am feeling again. Deeply feeling. It is glorious!

I came across this sermon by Andy Stanley today from one of my favorite blogs, MOD Squad and listened to it while I cleaned the kitchen this morning. It was perfect for me. PERFECT for me. He talks a lot about The One Thing that God has for us to do this year. The thing I must do this year to get it under control. Well, I don't think it is any surprise that God is revealing to me that The One Thing I have to do this year is to focus on mothering and marriage. I am claiming and speaking Nehemiah 6:3 over these areas this year:

I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Nehemiah 6:3

Go listen to the sermon here and be blessed as well!!!!!

Thank you Lord for the healing you are doing. Thank you for beginning the restoration process in me. Thank you for the people you have used, the resources you have used, and the ways you have worked to reveal yourself to me over the last few weeks. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for the plans you have for me...and for reigniting the passion inside of me to follow through with you on those plans. Thank you for the desire you have restored in me for pursuing your word and your ways. You are gracious and you are good.

To Know I Am Not Alone

2012-01-21T13:26:00.000-06:00

The thing that has amazed me the most since first posting about my struggle with depression is how many wonderful women have stepped forth to share their struggle with it as well. Women I have looked up to and admired....women I thought could never go through something as ugly as I have. I've been blown away at the number of women who have given me sweet encouragement and who have been willing to give me a glimpse into their own struggle. I know how hard that is and how completely raw and bare you have to be to share something so personal and so I am beyond thankful.

One of my sweetest friends emailed me the other day and gave me permission to share her words here. I hope that they will bring you or someone you know as much comfort as they are giving me. I read them over and over because for one, I am there (and slowly coming out) of the dark places she describes. So many of them have been or are me. I read the words because her story didn't end with darkness! Hallelujah!!!!! They end with HOPE! And JOY! And PEACE! And I am believing that there will be a day very soon (or whenever God is ready for it to be) that I can stand on the other side of this canyon and look back at the deep dark places with a heart that is healed. Thank you dear friend for these words and for sharing them here for others to read and find hope in as well. I love you so much.

My dear, dear friend: I send this with tears, because these are things that very, very few people know about. I knew that someday, God would use this experience for good, and I believe it may be now.

Me, in 2009/2010:

crying
fighting with my husband
horribly messy house
I didn't care
staring at the pantry at all the food, and crying because I don't want to think about cooking dinner
crying
going into the garage and throwing stuff because I wanted the craziness in my head to stop
laying in the floor crying and praying and begging God to fix me
and again
and again
and again
feeling guilty
snapping at the checkout lady, the customer service rep, and anyone else who came in my path
crying
reading so much stuff that told me if I just give it to God, it will all be okay
I did, and it wasn't
begging Satan to leave me alone
Feeling like he wasn't
throwing a knife at the laundry room wall when no one was looking - no clue why
canceling appointments of every kind because it was so much work to get myself and the kids together to go anywhere
dreading getting dressed in the morning while trying to squeeze into clothes that were getting tighter by the day
feeling fat, so I would make a batch of cookies and eat them. all of them.
feeling worse due to the sugar high/low
finding every single thing possibly "wrong" with my husband. and making sure he knew about it all.
crying
hating my body
hating my mind
hating the other moms who seemed to have it all together
not really wanting to harm myself, but kind of thinking that maybe if it was just enough so that I could go somewhere and they would give me a big shot of demoral or something and I could sleep for 3 days. That would be great. But no...then they'll think I'm crazy or something. Bad idea.
trying to keep up
with myself
with others
why me?
praying
reading
begging
hating
yelling
forgetting
falling
crying
sighing
zoning
wishing
over
and over
and over
again.

THEN...THE voice. THE one that says...I will help you, and it's MY way. Not YOUR way. I will NOT fix you in one minute today. It will be work. It will be hard. It will seem long. BUT...listen to ME. I will work through my followers in your life who I have blessed with various talents. Doctors. Friends. Family. Your husband, the leader of your home. I will work through them and you will be healed. I will put people and resources in your path to do my good works. Watch for them. Do not ignore them. (That is EXACTLY what I heard - I'm serious. And I don't hear stuff a whole lot, you know?!)

SO...called my doctor. Hated it. Went in looking like crap because I couldn't even get it together to put myself together. I told her "I think I'm okay, and I really don't want medicine". I left with medicine. I hated it. But I remembered what I was told. So I took it. I took it, and took it, and took it some more. And a few weeks later...the darkness wasn't so dark.

But that wasn't the end. There was more. More lessons to be learned. I had to learn how to take care of myself. He taught me that I was not using my body as a temple. Had to break bad habits and learn good ones. And it was hard. And it was long. But he kept giving me the resources. And they were very rarely the resources that I expected. They were NOT the moms who had it all together. I seriously thought I would be learning from them. NOPE. In fact, God slowly, slowly, slowly pulled me from them. They're wonderful people. They are godly women. But they're not part of God's plan for me. I was shocked. I had my doctor, I had my mother, I had my husband, and I made completely new friends. The ones who I would never have imagined hanging with. Some of them aren't even on PTA - gasp! They helped teach me that I can spend sooooo much time "ministering" and "doing" and "teaching" and making sure that I'm super, duper busy doing what I know God wants, that I'm not even doing what God wants. For me, He wanted me to stop. Stop it all. My days were spent healing. Learning. Focusing only on getting better. Loving my children and husband, providing care for them, and letting go of the guilt. Calming the chaos and simply re-learning how to have a peaceful home. Peace.

That is why if you ask me parenting advice now (or any other kind for that matter), it is FAR, FAR different then what I would have ever suggested a few years ago. I've learned the hard way. It was a journey. It did seem long. But I am healed. To God be the Glory, I am healed. It was NO doing of my own. Looking back, I'm glad he didn't fix me that day. Because then I couldn't be writing this. I would be just another friend telling you to give it to God, and it will all be fine. Easy peasy.

So...you cry, scream, hate, yell, or whatever. Then pick yourself up, because you're about to start a whole new journey, sister. And I'm right here for you always. Any time of day or night. Because I know. I know. And I love you.

A Tough Pill To Swallow

2012-01-19T11:14:00.000-06:00

I've debated back and forth and back and forth about sharing this part of my story....but in an effort to keep it real here, I am going to go ahead and share it. Can I just start by saying that I know opinions vary wildly on this subject, but I am going to ask that whether you agree with me or not that you will be respectful of my decision.

Almost two weeks ago I was at my lowest point. My days were spent crying or on the verge of tears and the stress of my situation was taking a terrible toll on my family. I had been fighting on and off (it has been a very roller-coaster-ish ride for me) for the past 9 months with severe depression and it had gotten to the point where I was no longer experiencing any high points....only low. I had finally opened up everything to my husband and told him all the ugly that was inside of me....which was freeing in some aspects for me, yet absolutely terrifying for him. My mom wouldn't stop (thank you, mom) calling me and checking in and begging me to see my doctor. I refused. I was stubborn and prideful. The perfection that lives inside me (and all too often takes over my life) kept telling me that doctors and pills were FAILURE. That I should be able to pick myself up from the darkness I was living in and just be okay already. What was wrong with me?!?! What was wrong with me?!?! What. Was. Wrong. With. Me?!?!?!

I wish that I could say calling my doctor and getting a prescription for anti-depressants was a prayerfully made decision. It wasn't. At least not for me. I am sure that my mom and husband had been praying for a long time for me and about the possibility of seeking medical help. I, however, was totally and 100% against it. I was mad at myself and hated the person I was looking at in the mirror. I hated myself for not being able to fix it. I had prayed. I had begged. I had tried. I had memorized scripture. I had done everything I could think of short of medical help and I was not better. I was worse. So, in the midst of a total meltdown I called my doctor. I did it because I was tired of hearing my mom tell me to. I did it because deep down I knew that I needed to.

I love my doctor. He is a Christian man I know that he would not have prescribed me medication if he didn't think I needed it. It was bittersweet to hear the nurse say she would call the medicine in for me. It tasted like failure. I hung up the phone and burst into tears. Failure. Failure. Failure. It's all I heard.

My parents came to town and drove to my house. They watched the kids so that Shawn could drive me to pick it up. We talked a little bit about it on the way there, but I really wasn't in the mood for conversation. 20 minutes later I had a prescription in my hands.

We sat in the car and Shawn took my hands and he prayed for me. He prayed that God would be used through the medication. He prayed that God would deliver me from the darkness. He prayed for my strength. It meant everything to me. And then I took the first pill.

Each day since that first has gotten better. I am still not okay and I know that pills don't fix the root of depression....something God and I are working through right now. But, they have taken the dark cloud off of me, they have rounded out my sharp edges, and taken the tingling skin away. I am thankful for that. A dear friend of mine reminded me that God does work through modern medicine. Words I desperately needed to hear. Words I remind myself every single day when the enemy shouts "Failure" to me.

This is a process, this is MY process. My journey. Definitely one I would not have chosen to take on, but one I am trying very hard to see God through. I know he will see me through it.

Where To Go From Here

2012-01-16T15:51:00.000-06:00

It's no lie that things have been difficult at best for me on a personal level for a while now. Try as I might to hide it, cover it, and dress it as something else I have not been okay. Those who know me well have known and have fought for me as I've fumbled and fallen over and over again.

I can't remember the last time I felt like me and I don't know that I will ever get back to that place. Surprisingly that thought doesn't necessarily scare me....I guess I am trusting that the person God brings through this dark cloud will be a better version of me. I know He allows trials and suffering to refine me and so even when it is hard (and it has been crushingly hard), I am trusting that this depression will be used for good.

A dear friend of mine implored me to share this struggle. I was hesitant at first. Who wants to air their dirty laundry.... and how can I be so afflicted when there are others out there with much heavier loads? Nevertheless, I will write through this. Sometimes thoughtful, sometimes choppy. It's how I work.

And I will be real here as I push through. Because I am learning and it is ugly and it is hard and I have two beautiful kids and a husband I adore that deserve the other side of this trial. Bear with me?

Mud and Mire

2012-01-13T21:16:00.001-06:00

It's been a wild ride and I sit here 9 months in and no closer to the mom I want to be. Tension mounts and trash cans overflow and I sleep walk through days and paste the smile to my face.

And truth hurts and I look it in the mirror every night. I face the fears and realizations that I am not okay. And friends and family ache for me and my husband holds me and begs me to be me again. And I try. And try. And try.

And I don't know why I am fighting. Why this darkness when my world is so bright? Why this suffocation when I know my blessings? I ask God to remove the haze, to open my eyes, to take away the tingling skin and sharp words. And he answers. In ways I can't explain and don't expect.

I long to be me again. To find the joy that used to be my claim. To face the days with unforced excitement. To live in each moment and dance again.

And my new song is Psalm 40:2 because God can and I can't. I am muddy and exhausted and standing knee deep in the mire. And like quicksand I am forever stuck. Each day the same. But God can and I can't. Yes this I know from the valleys and mountains we've been through before....God can and I can't.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. Psalm 40:2

My 2012 Book List

2012-01-05T06:30:00.000-06:00

I love to read....SO much. But, since having kids I haven't made the time to do it. Or, if I do read I will pick up a really quick (and usually mindless) fiction book. Well, since I don't want my mind to go to mush and I am all about pushing myself to learn more this year I thought I would take up with Crystal from Money Saving Mom's idea and come up with a list of 12 non-fiction books that I want to read completely this year. I thought it would be hard to come up with 12 books, especially non-fiction, since I haven't read many in a long time but honestly, I am finding that instead of having too few books on my list, I am having to whittle down and cut some out. I'm including the ones that didn't make the first cut in case I get through the first 12 and need more to read. In fact, I've even made a 24 in '12 list in case I get on a roll with this reading thing.

One of the things I've been really working on is scheduling a time each day to read. Sound stuffy? I don't think so. If I don't plan that I will read, for instance, the thirty minutes before I go to bed each night, I will simply fill that time up with other "stuff"...mindless tv or mindless internet surfing usually. Therefore, I am really going to stick to my reading time each day. I have to or I won't make it through my books!!!

I've written my books by month and also just as a general list of books to read. I'm not sure which is going to work better for me. Here is my month version...but I know myself well enough to know that I ~~just might~~ probably will skip around and change the order. It's the rebel in me. ;)

Without further adieu:

*If it is crossed out, I've read it*

*Two months have more than one book...yeah I know....;) again, the rebel*

January:

~~Tell Your Time - Ebook~~ (I actually just finished this one, it's way short and an easy read and I have learned SO much about my time....I'm hoping to do a little review here on this blog about what I've learned soon!)

Shepherding A Child's Heart - Tedd Tripp

Feburary:

Money Saving Mom's Budget - Crystal Paine

March:

Made To Crave - Lysa TerKeurst

Dancing on My Ashes - Heather Gilion, Holly Snell (my friend Kelly suggested it so I know it will be a good one)

April:

Erasing Hell - Francis Chan

May:

Kisses From Katie - Katie Davis

June:

5 love Languages of Children - Gary Chapman

July:

Bringing Up Girls - James Dobson

August:

Ministry of Motherhood - Sally Clarkson

September:

Love and Respect - Emerson Eggerichs

October:

15 Minutes Outside - Rebecca Cohen

November:

Jesus + Nothing = Everything - Tullian Tchividjian

December:

Bringing Up Boys - James Dobson

These are just the books that I am for sure planning on reading this year. My hope is that I will be able to read many, many more since I am focusing my attention on reading and learning and growing this year. What about you? Are there any books you think I should add to my growing "I hope to read" pile?

New Years Eve Celebrations!!!

2012-01-04T21:19:00.000-06:00

Since we were in Eldon for New Year's Eve this year I thought it would be super fun to get a bunch of games together for our family to all play. Shawn's family are all HUGE game players but I wanted it to be something other than our normal go-to board games! So, Shawn and I planned a Minute to Win It Party!!!!

Allie and Scott preparing (mentally) for the games ahead.

One of the games was called "noodling around" You put a piece of spaghetti in your mouth and then had to use it to pick up four pieces of penne pasta without dropping any or breaking your spaghetti noodle. Andy did a great job with his!

He was pretty proud, haha!

I'm so glad Scott made sure to wear his festive New Year's Hat! ;) He was totally serious and ready to win the thing!

Another game we played involved using only your face to put Vaseline on your nose and then move cotton balls from one bowl to another. We were all laughing at that one. Chad was cracking me up!

Aunt Carol got quite a few cotton balls moved....so glad I caught this picture!

Hahahah, Scott!!!!!

Shawn's turn....
(Aso can you see the sweet Minute to Win It game board Andy and I made in the background?!?! Super sweet skills right?)

Allie....

My turn...I got them all!

We played a ton of other games, but my battery was dead on my camera so I spent most of the evening charging it up. Thankfully it was ready to go around Midnight....and yes, Lauren stayed up. We couldn't believe it but she was SUCH a trooper and did a great job!!!! She LOVED the blow horns and balloons and hats and everything!

I adore this picture of Lauren and her Uncle Scott. She loves him so much and he is so sweet to her.

And this picture makes me super happy too....I LOVE and am SO thankful for the fact that she has uncles who are willing to be silly and crazy just to make her smile. She is seriously so blessed. :)

Ringing in 2012 was so much fun. I even got to kiss my man at midnight. Gotta love that!

Christmas at Meme Bev and Papa Wayne's - 2011 Edition

2012-01-04T20:59:00.000-06:00

We traveled to Eldon the weekend after Christmas to celebrate with Shawn's side of the family. It is so great when we can all get together...it doesn't happen often enough!

Obviously we got all dressed up for opening presents...haha. Actually Easton didn't sleep well...he woke up super early every morning (it totally didn't help that we went to bed reaaaaalllly late every night) and so Shawn got up with him and let me sleep in for a while before we opened presents. SUPER awesome husband!

Scott and Allie got Easton the coolest stuffed food set. He was mad obsessed with it!!!

The banana was a huge hit and he carried it around in his mouth for quite a while.

Chad and Andy got Lauren an adorable stuffed strawberry from Ikea! She loved it immediately!

Meme Bev and Papa Wayne got Lauren lots of fun stuff but she really liked all her new puzzles.

Love Allie in this picture! Don't Scott and Shawn look a lot alike? Oh my goodness, I am so thankful for those two. They love Easton and Lauren so much and we have the most fun hanging out and playing games with them.

Allie was so sweet and offered to hold Easton a lot, but he wasn't having it at this point...such a mama's boy.

Lauren made Meme and Papa handmade gifts this year. They loved them.

Shawn gave Easton the thing of M&M's thinking he couldn't get them open....oh but he did. He totally did. And, he loved them. Surprise, surprise.

Lauren got everybody gifts and Uncle Chad loved his paddle ball set....he hit it like three times and the ball and string flew off. Hahah! We all got a huge kick out of that one.

We had a great time celebrating Christmas with the Barry family. So thankful for their love and support.

Christmas at Meme and Papa Bob's - 2011

2012-01-04T15:06:00.001-06:00

The day after Christmas we headed to my Meme and Papa Bob's for Christmas. We always eat a humongous pancake and fried ham breakfast. And I always feel like a giant whale afterwards.

Meme and Papa mix up the pancake batter the night before and Zach makes the pancakes on the griddle. The kitchen is always a busy and fun place to be at Meme and Papa's!

LOVE LOVE this picture of my mom, Zach, and Easton. :) Seriously so precious. I know this will be one we look back on next year and say, "look how much he's grown!"

Meme and Papa got Easton and Lauren the best present....a Red Ryder Wagon!!!! It has two seats, cupholders, seat belts....basically it is perfect for us! We have already used it to go on little walks around the neighborhood and to go check the mail!!!! This picture (with the wagon in the box) is so cute to me! Love that my sweet grandparents get to hold and love on my sweet kids...not much better than that.

I also LOVE this picture of Easton and me. Look at his smile! :) He is such a ham and cracks those kinds of sweet smiles all the time. I'm so glad we captured it in a picture!

The bubs wasn't too interested in opening presents....thankfully he has a mama who loves to open them! ;)

After all the food and fun of presents little Easton and I were tired. I love that my SIL caught this picture of us napping. :)

We missed Aunt Juju this year (she was sick) but Lauren loved playing with Uncle Darell...he was super sweet to do the same things over and over and over and over. ;)

Easton loved the wagon!!! So did Riley (my brother and Victoria's puppy!!!)

We had a great time celebrating Christmas with everyone. Can't wait until next year!!!!

Christmas at Nammy and Big Papa's - 2011 Edition

2012-01-04T13:47:00.000-06:00

After Church on Christmas morning we headed to my parent's house to spend Christmas with them and my family. There was something so sweet about being in my growing up home for Christmas. My dad went all out and put up super FUN and colorful lights for Lauren again this year and the fact that he did that absolutely melts my heart. It was the most beautiful Christmas day and while we waited on my brother and his wife to make it down we enjoyed being outside and eating all the yummy food my mom cooked and had out for us to enjoy!

When it was time to open presents, mom brought out the stockings and Lauren was SO ready! :)

Okay, I absolutely LOVE this picture. :) It shows our family perfectly!!! Shawn was trying to pacify Easton by feeding him, Lauren is dancing, and my dad was doing something (not in the picture) that had my whole family looking at him. Haha!

Lauren really loves "hand tizer" (hand sanitizer) and so my mom got her a few of her very own to clip on to her purse or bag or whatever!!!

So, this past fall Shawn got his very first buck ever and my brother Jared wanted to surprise him by mounting it. Somehow, I managed to sneak it out of the house a few weeks before Christmas without Shawn knowing. Jared made the plaque (like really made it out of wood and such) then did all the mounting himself. It was a really sweet gift and super thoughtful of my macho brother. ;)

He made my brother Zach one as well...

Lauren spent a lot of time on Big Papa's lap or with Nammy (or with the super cute Disney dolls she got from Uncle Zach and Aunt Victoria)

My parents got Easton some of the cutest Nike shoes ever! They are still a little big but I can't wait until he can wear them. Seriously, are they not the best!!!

This little man was into everything! Such a little stinker...and such a cute little ham!

He loves the soccer ball my parents got him. We have had a lot of fun with it so far and I am sure it will get lots of use over the next months while we are all in because of the cold!

Lauren loves pajamas. She would literally wear them 24/7 if I would let her, so this new pair from Nammy and Papa were perfect...she loves the "bu-yer-fies" on them. :)

Shawn and I both got a new pair of rubber boots...I am super excited because now I won't have to borrow my mom's (whose are a size too small and when I was deer hunting with Shawn last fall I had to take them off in. the. treestand. because my feet were feeling claustrophobic) or my SIL's.

Easton got this awesome push John Deere Buck vehicle. He already loves it, even if he isn't quite big enough to ride on it by himself.

Lauren got a super cute vanity and Gigi got her a huge box of makeup and nail polish and all kinds of goodies to go with it. The only problem with the makeup is that she started painting her own toes right there on Nammy's rug before anyone knew what she had! Ha! She has since painted every toe a different color. Totally ahead of the fashion world, right?!?

You know you are a little girl's daddy when you are man enough to put together a pink vanity (complete with matching makeup stickers that he made sure went right where they were supposed to!)

Last year, Zach and Victoria got engaged on Christmas Eve at my parents house....this year they are an old married couple. Well, maybe not too old. :)

My sweet parents (who always do too much!!!!) Aren't they cute?!?

The brothers....oh dear. ;)

We had such a great time with the family. :) It's always a blast watching everyone open their presents and trying to talk above the noise and chaos. I would't change it for the world!

Christmas At Home - 2011!!!!

2012-01-04T06:30:00.000-06:00

Shawn and I started last year making sure we were home Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with our little family. I know the kids won't remember (other than pictures) right now, but it was something we wanted to get started as a tradition of ours. We have such wonderful extended families on both sides, so it is harder than you'd think to make it a point to be at our own home!

Christmas morning Shawn and I woke up at 6 am in order to get everything ready for the big day ahead. It really wasn't that bad...we were both pretty excited to share Christmas with our sweet little family.

When I walked downstairs and saw that Shawn had turned the Christmas tree lights on I wanted to try to capture the feeling on camera....I know I didn't do it justice, but it was just so beautiful and peaceful and perfect.

I noticed a small pile of packages under the tree that were different from all the others and I realized that Shawn had taken it upon himself to pick out one gift for each person in our family. He told me he wanted to start the tradition of a special gift from Daddy every year....well obviously I totally lost it and cried at his sweetness. Seriously?!?! My kids have a wonderful father. And I, a wonderful hubby!

This picture makes me happy because you can see our little Advent ornament tree we decorated in the kids' playroom right off the living room. It was such an amazing experience to participate in Truth in the Tinsel and I can't wait to do it again next year!

The night before Christmas I set up our pancake making area...so as soon as we were up and going, Shawn started making our traditional pancake breakfast.

Oooohhhhh....looks like Santa left the Barry family some K-Cups....thank goodness 'cause we were out!

Of course it wasn't long before little Mister was up. As a side note, I hope he starts learning to like his sleep a little more....at least in this house. ;)

Then it was time for us to wake up Lolo....she wasn't too excited at first because she is a lady that knows how to love her sleep (thank goodness!!!!) but as soon as she realized it was Christmas she was ready to go.

And this picture right here?!?! It totally melts my heart.

In her true shy-girl form, Lauren was super hesitant about the presents under the tree...

So we decided to wake up a little more and head to the kitchen for our yummy breakfast.

We always make our pancakes into a big cake with candles to celebrate Jesus' birthday on Christmas morning. We sang Happy Birthday, Jesus and talked about how we were celebrating Jesus coming to earth as a little baby.

Digging in! My loves....

After breakfast Lauren was finally ready to get to those presents. I think this is possibly my all time favorite picture of my two loves together.

Easton was dying to get into the presents....or the tree...or the plug-in....or whatever else he was not supposed to get into.

Lauren got an awesome new beanbag (that has a removable and washable cover...yippee!!!) and she LOVED it!

Also, a big hit....the $2 microphone from Target.

She got a new Bible and was "reading" it to us. I love that she loves to pretend to read and I LOVE that she gets so excited about new Bible books.

Daddy's gift to all of us were new Mizzou duds!!! Both kids got jerseys and I got a new long sleeved tee.

I got a Jawbone....seriously best gift ever!!! I LOVE having music playing in the house at all times and this is a wireless blue-tooth speaker. So, I just turn Pandora on my phone and it plays it. My phone can be all the way across the house and it will still play. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE IT!

Shawn got binoculars for all that hunting he's been doing.

And I got a Lisa Leonard necklace!!!! I've been secretly (and not so secretly) wanting one for a while now and I absolutely adore it. It has a sweet little mason jar filled with hearts, a pearl bead, a rectangular charm with Easton's name on it, and a circle charm with Lauren's name. It is so precious to me.

Wow, right!?!? It was quite the mess....but such a fun and memorable morning. :)

After playing with our new toys for a while and packing up our stuff to head to Nammy and Big Papa's, we all got ready for church. It was such a blessing for us to be in church on Christmas morning. It was such a rich service and my heart was just filled anew with gratitude for what Christ did for us by coming to earth as a baby, living life as a sinless man, and dying an ugly and horrific death to save me....to save us.

Christmas Eve 2011!!!

2012-01-03T21:31:00.001-06:00

We had so much fun on Christmas Eve at our house. Shawn and I started a new tradition of letting the kids open a couple of gifts from us. We are pretty sure we will be doing this every year. The first gift was a pair of Christmas pajamas. I have to be honest here....I totally dropped the ball on buying the kids new Christmas themed pjs. I just re-wrapped some that they already had. Lauren got the Christmas-y plaid jammie dress from my mom last year and Easton's pj's were a hand-me-down borrowed pair from our friend Ryan. Lauren was totally confused by it and called me out by saying, "wait....these are already my jammies." :) I just had to laugh.

The next gifts the kids got to open (well really just Miss Lolo as Easton could have cared less) were a book and a new Christmas DVD. I don't know if we will do both each year or just one but this year it totally worked out (mainly because I had the DVD in the closet and forgot that I'd bought it until just days before Christmas....same with the book...yikes!)

We got them this book: (which is totally awesome by the way)

And this movie: (I HIGHLY recommend!!! We will be buying more in this series!!!!)

Easton was more fascinated by the fireplace and the stockings than the presents at first. Good thing Lauren was all business. ;)

After baths and getting into their ~~new~~ old Christmas jammies it was Easton's bedtime. We checked online to see where Santa was and then Shawn and I surprised Lauren by letting her stay up late with us to watch the movie. Surprisingly, the movie kept us all entertained. :)

We made Christmas cookies (chocolate chip) earlier in the day for Santa so we made sure to set that out for him. Lauren told us that Santa liked chocolate milk so we put that out as well. I don't have pictures (bummer) but we also spread out the reindeer food Elfie brought us back from the North Pole. Lauren LOVED that part and we made sure to check the sky for Santa!!!

Then it was off to bed for the Barry household. We had a big morning the next day...

Happy Birthday, Jared!!!

2011-12-23T10:22:00.000-06:00

Last night we went to Incredible Pizza to celebrate Jared's 18th birthday!!! It was so much fun and we all got to act like kids again. Lauren and Easton were fascinated with the whole place and they both did great!!!!

I know this isn't an attractive picture of me, but its the only one I have to prove that I actually beat my brother, Zach at one game of skee-ball. I was just a tad bit excited!!!

Aunt Victoria was so sweet to help Lauren play a bunch of games. This was one of Lauren's favorites. The trash cans opened and she threw balls into them. She was actually a really great shot. And Aunt Victoria was super patient and sweet with her.

Oh my goodness....I LOVE this picture of my mom and dad and Easton! Everybody says that Easton looks like my dad and I think this picture shows that!!! Nammy and Easton were big buds all night. Usually he is a pretty big mama's boy, but he let Nammy hold him most of the evening! Probably because she walked him around and let him see all the lights and she sat him in front of the go-karts and he really loved to watch them!

Jared and his super sweet girlfriend, Taylour...oh and scary Shawn in the background!

Lauren calls him GiGi. She came up with it on her own when she was first learning to talk. This is a much better picture of the two of those cuties!

We were SO excited that Lauren wanted to ride the go-karts! She wanted to ride with Uncle Zach! Aren't they the cutest things? She is so blessed to have such awesome uncles!!!

Go-kart cheering section!!!

After Lauren rode the go-karts, GiGi, Big Papa, and Taylour rode the fast ones. I loved watching Lauren's face as they went around and around and around.

Lauren wanted to play a car racing game so Aunt Victoria did the feet pedals and Lauren steered. We were all cracking up because she was SO into it and serious. :) She actually did pretty well.....there were a few unfortunate trips into side rails and buildings and other cars on the road, but she stuck with it and seemed to enjoy it!

Aunt Victoria won Lauren a free go-kart ride so she wanted Big Papa to drive her. She was so happy because she wanted to ride in the tiger car!

Big Papa, Nammy, and Lauren had a lot of fun playing skee-ball. Lauren actually got the hang of it toward the end. Mostly her ball just kept coming back to her which was perfectly fine with her! It just meant more time for her to play!

We had a blast celebrating GiGi's 18th birthday and I was reminded again last night how thankful I am for my family. I love that we can all go do something silly and child-like and have the best time! Lauren and Easton are truly the luckiest kids in the world.

Happy Birthday Jared. I love you so much. You are a remarkable young man. You've gone through a lot the past few years and even in the midst of some scary stuff, you stayed strong. You crack me up all of the time. I love how much you adore my kids and I know that you would do anything for them. I love that you have your own style and personality and don't change a thing for anyone. I'm so glad I get to be your (weird and wacky) sister.

Lauren

2011-12-21T06:00:00.000-06:00

Lauren, my precious firstborn. You are a beautiful light in my life. What would I have been without you making me a mama?

I know it isn't your birthday or any "special" milestone, but there are just too many wonderful things about you lately that I am terrified time will remove from my memory. So, I thought I would try to capture a bit of the essence of who you are at 3 1/2 years old.

You are just like me in the morning. If I go in to wake you up before you are ready you will be grumpy! Sometimes I just ask if you would like a little more time to wake up and you always say, "Yes!" I'll shut the door and let you wake up at your own pace. When I do that you are a much happier little girl.

You know how to sign "I Love You" and it is our special little code when we are out or around a lot of people. I always want you to know how very deeply you are loved. I hope that you do. We also love the book The Kissing Hand and read it often. I love how you ask me to kiss your hand and then you hold it close to your heart and squeeze it really tightly as if trying to get it as close to your heart as you can.

You have a sensitive soul. You love deeply and hurt easily. You are extremely shy and cling to me when we are out and around people you don't know (and sometimes even people you do know!) Some people get offended by this, but I don't think you are being mean on purpose. I really think you are trying to figure out all the emotions that come with your shyness.

You've entered into a difficult disciplining stage for us. We aren't used to it (you or us) and so we are making our way through the murky waters as best we can. I've read books and tried a zillion different things and yet we still haven't found what works best for our little family. In all honesty, you are the most precious child...you just have moments (like all kids do) that challenge and grow us.

You are super creative. You love to color and do any kind of craft I bring out for us. You are always asking if we are going to do, "sumping 'pecial" or if we are going to "wern about sumping" I absolutely adore your excitement about spending special time together. Sometimes you will have me sit down and you will tell me stories from your Bible. You tell me that the Bible is, "God's trufe worf" (God's true word) and that God is in our hearts. You learned something new at BSF where you grab your Bible down from the shelf and open it up and read something (all pretend) and it is just too cute. I love that God's word is already seeping into your sweet heart. I pray with all of my heart that you will know how deeply you are loved, how precious you are in His sight, and that He has a plan for your life my darling daughter.

You make me laugh every single day. Most days you still take a nap. This might sound crazy and silly, but I always miss you when you are sleeping. Ha! I enjoy and often times need that time to get things done, but I still miss you under my feet as I'm going about my daily chores. You help me fold laundry, sweep the floors, clean the dishes from the table, put away the silverware, and are usually always really sweet to help me do whatever I need.

You are growing so fast my little baby girl. How you have gone from a completely dependent newborn to this very independent pre-schooler just baffles me. You go potty by yourself and wash your hands by yourself. You know how to brush your teeth and wash in the bathtub. You like to pick out your clothes (and would wear pajamas every day all day if I let you) and don't like tags or anything that scratches.

You are the absolute best big sister in the entire world. You love your baby brother with a love that I am just in awe of. Yes, he is getting to that age where he is getting into your stuff and yes, you are getting to that age where you are ready and willing to tell him what to do and what not to do, but generally you guys are the sweetest things together. You LOVE to be the first one to go in his room after a nap. You will open the door and say, "Hey handsome!" You do anything to make him laugh (it usually doesn't take much...he is smitten with you) and would rather chase him around the house or "pway wiff Bubby" than just about anything else. He is so lucky to have you as his sister. I pray that you guys will have a special bond throughout the years.

Lauren, I love you. I. Love. You. I thank God that I am your mama. That he chose ME of all the mamas out there. So often I feel inadequate or unqualified for this job, for this important work, but I trust that He has a great plan for you and me Sissy. Even though you need to slow down on the growing up, I am excited to see what's in store for you beautiful girl. You are a priceless gift.

I love you to the moon and back fourteen million times.

Love,

Mama

A Boy and His Bath

2011-12-20T20:58:00.000-06:00

Easton you LOVE bathtime. Seriously. Love. It.

You get SO excited when I start to run the water. You bounce up and down on your sweet little legs and grunt and reach for the water. Oh man...you are seriously almost too much. :) I am so thankful that you love your bath time so much...you are a messy little boy! Ha!!!

I am so glad I grabbed my camera to snap these pictures of you. I know (with such certainty that my heart hurts) that you will never again be the size you are today. These moments of laughing at your enthusiasm over a simple bath are the important things. They are the things I want to remember.

Every day I see more and more of your personality. Most of the time I get to see this sweet smiley face. ;)

or this silly one....

Yes, you are growing up. These pictures show me that you are not the newborn you once were. Yes, it hurts my mama heart to leave that in the past. I just thank God every single day (even in the midst of some rough ones) that God made me your mama. That he has given me another day to watch you grow, to teach you, to love on you, to cuddle you, and to play with you. For that I am so blessed.

Sweet Love

2011-12-15T09:47:00.000-06:00

Meme and Papa came by to see the new house the other day and I caught a few precious pictures of their time here. :) Lauren always wants Meme to hold her....even though she weighs a ton Meme always gives in.

The next two pictures crack me up because we were trying to get a cute picture of the four of them. As you will notice Easton was just a tad bit obsessed with his sister...

...and Lauren kept doing these weird poses! Haha!!!! Oh well!

Lauren showed Meme and Papa her magnetic nativity scene and they played together for a while.

We got this precious picture with Easton but by this time Lauren had had enough and was off playing with something else! :)

I love my Meme and Papa SO much and I am more than extremely thankful that my kids get to be loved on and spoiled by them as well. It is almost too much for my heart.

Happy (late) Eight Months, Easton!!!!

2011-12-14T12:35:00.000-06:00

Dear Easton,

Well, technically this post is late as you turned 8 months on December 4th. Sorry, buddy. For one, you've been sick and I have been waiting to take your pictures when your nose wasn't all runny and full of junk. Finally today I just decided to take them...sick boy and all. At least it is a pretty good representation of how you spent the first weeks of your eighth month!

Taking pictures this month was hard! You are so funny and busy and you were not interested in sitting still at all! :) Plus, I forgot to comb your hair so you have a sweet little angel wing behind your left ear. Haha!

You are really such a happy baby. I LOVE your smile. It melts my heart every single time. You are still a really big mama's boy. But that's okay with me. I know that one day you'll be more interested in daddy and all the stuff that boys are into so right now I will enjoy all our sweet cuddle time. Even if my arm feels like it is about to fall off! :)

You are a big boy! I think I've said that every month but you are just so strong and big and boyish. I love it! You weigh 19 pounds!!! You wear size 9 to 12 month clothing and a size 3 shoe. I love dressing you like a little man and think you look absolutely precious in jeans and a long sleeve button up like your daddy wears.

You are crawling like crazy! It seems you make a bee-line for anything you aren't supposed to have. The outlet, the Christmas tree, the drawers, daddy's tools, Lauren's little toys, etc. It's like you know you aren't allowed to touch those things and so you race as fast as you can to get it before we notice.

You have been pulling up on furniture for a little while now, but today you cruised around the coffee table! I was so proud of you!!! And also a little sad for me...where is my baby going?

You love your sister. She fascinates you. You love to chase her around in your walker and she is so sweet with you. When you wake up from a nap she is the first to run upstairs and open your door to check on you. She always says, "hey handsome!"

You are still nursing, but not as much. You really LOVE table foods. Just this week you have had grilled cheese, pieces of cheese, black beans, green beans, little pieces of chicken, bread, muffins and more! You are SO cute feeding yourself and I think you are kind of over the baby food texture now that you've had a taste of the good stuff. :)

Son, I love you so much. Words will do it no justice, I know. You completed our family in a way that still baffles us. We really didn't know what we were missing before you. Now, it feels so perfect. So right. We love you more than you will ever know.

You are doing better with sleeping. You usually go to bed around 7:15 and then wake up around 4 to nurse. You are up for the day around 6:30 most days and then take two good naps throughout the day! You are the most precious thing when you are sleepy. As soon as I walk into your dark room and turn on your white noise you lay your little head on my shoulder. It happens every time and I love that you feel so comfortable in your room. Your daddy still checks on you (and sissy) every single night before we go to bed and he will often call me in there to see how cute you are and how peaceful you look.

I love you to the moon and back fourteen million times.

Love,

Mama

Pulling Up

2011-12-07T11:55:00.001-06:00

Oh Easton. Just a few days shy of your 8 month birthday you decided you were done sitting. Yep, you pretty much just made up your mind and then grabbed hold of your walker (it was wedged against a door) and stood right on up. No hesitation, no fear, no trouble.

Since then I have loved catching you enjoying your newfound freedom. Your favorite time to stand is when you wake from sleeping. I walk in and you are seriously beaming with joy and pride. No matter what kind of day I am having when I see that sweet smile (even behind that binkie) I melt into a huge puddle.

Also, I absolutely ADORE your hair when you wake up. I really don't think you could get any cuter. :)

I love you so much little man but I have to admit that I am getting more and more nervous about how big you are getting. It won't be long before you are using those sweet legs to ~~walk~~ run!

And PS.... we are lowering your crib tonight! :)

A Sure Sign Things Have Changed

2011-12-06T08:49:00.000-06:00

As we were decorating our tree this year Shawn and I stopped and smiled at the way our personalized ornaments have changed over the years....

We started with this one:

Then a sweet little girl changed our ornament to this one:

And finally, this year our little man made our ornament look like this:

I LOVE THEM!

2011-12-04T06:00:00.000-06:00

And I love how they love each other.

One Last Piece of Fall

2011-12-03T21:11:00.000-06:00

A couple of days before December 1st, Lauren and I pulled out her Autumn sensory bin again and had the most fun playing and sorting and stringing beads. We love sensory bins around our house and I especially love finding all the fun items to put into ours. It has been a goal of mine for a long time to switch them out monthly and I think since we are starting to settle in a little more I might be able to accomplish it!

We usually play with the bin while Easton is sleeping since there are small pieces and we try to keep it all in the bin. However, on one particular day he was awake and in the playroom with us and Lauren and I decided to let him do a little exploring as well. I had to keep a VERY close eye on him since he is pretty much at that automatic put it in the mouth kind of stage but man were they cute playing together. :)

*Sorry for the naked baby doll in the background...such is our life*

The beautiful necklace Lauren made from the pretty beads in the sensory bin.

Lighting McQueen Has Nothing On These Two!

2011-11-22T12:41:00.000-06:00

Oh my goodness, one of the absolute sweetest things about our new house is the fact that Lauren and Easton are finding new ways to bond as brother and sister. We have hardwood throughout the bottom level and it has proven to be the perfect race course for these two race car drivers!

Start your engines!!!!

Easton's in the lead....but not for long!

Re-start....

This boy is going to be trouble! He is soooo fast in his ~~walker~~ race car!

Cutest little racing girl I have ever seen!

The race is broadcasted here:

Still Here

2011-11-21T07:42:00.000-06:00

It seems when things get a little busy in life the lights shut down on this blog.

I hate that.

Because we are still living life! There are memories I need to be documenting! There are pictures that MUST be seen....:) There are pictures that NEED to be taken (where oh where is my camera? My iPhone one just isn't cutting it!)

We are loving our new house. Things are really starting to feel like home here. Can I just say how wonderful that is? We have plans for a kitchen demo soon. Like our fridge doesn't fit in the previous fridge spot so it is in the laundry room/mudroom soon. I'm just a tad bit giddy about it. Lots of ideas and I think we are going to do something different than we did with either of our last two houses. :)

One way that God has already blessed us is that we have great neighbors!!!! You don't know how hard I prayed about that very thing before we moved in. We never got to know our neighbors at our last house...in fact it was more than just a little strange. But here, we have already met several of our new neighbors and I am just beyond thrilled. How wonderful to see how God provides even the littlest of things for us. :) Sometimes, those mean the most, right!?! I am so excited and my sweet mom helped me make up our family chex-mix recipe to use as little Thanksgiving gifts for our new friends! I need to make the bags pretty today! :)

I have been dreaming of Christmas but trying to stay in Thanksgiving mode. I don't want to rush past this wonderful season for reflection. I have so much to be thankful for this year. So. Much. I sense a post on that very subject is in order. :)

Here

2011-11-09T14:18:00.000-06:00

We are here. All moved in. Not unpacked. Living out of boxes.

I'm happy and excited and I feel so thankful for our new home.

I'm sad and nostalgic and wondering if this place will ever feel like "home."

We have so much work ahead of us and I just feel so unsettled that I am just struggling right now. I KNOW it will be okay and I AM thankful...just working through the emotions that come with change. Trying to find my new normal. Trying to find my niche again.

The kids are adjusting well. Lauren loves her new purple room and hasn't had any problems sleeping in it. Easton is doing well on the hardwood floors. (A worry I had before moving in) The playroom will be great when we figure out a storage system for all the toys.

It's been rainy and gray here the last few days so I know that hasn't helped my mood...but today it is sunshiny and bright. I'm thankful for that.

Trying to fight off the heaviness in my chest and just enjoy these moments.

Moving Day...

2011-11-05T09:00:00.002-05:00

Well, today is moving day. I am so excited to be in our new house and settle in, but I am feeling so nostalgic about our old one. It is just so bittersweet. I really hope that this new house feels like home. As Shawn reminded me...what makes a house a home is the people you share it with. Love that man.

Happy 7 Months, Easton!

2011-11-04T21:55:00.001-05:00

Dear Easton,

You are seven months old today!!! Wowzers, right? You are definitely growing into your own little person and I am catching glimpses of your toddler years, oh dear. ;) You are still just the cutest little man I have ever seen and I absolutely adore you.

You, mister, are a HUGE mama's boy. I mean huge. You always want me to hold you. If your feelings get hurt or you bump your head you cry until I hold you. If you are tired, only I will do. If you see me across the room you will do everything you can to get to me. Of course I love that you love me so much, but there are other people in your life who love you and want to hang out with you too. :)

You are army crawling!!! You actually just started this week. You are too cute scooting around and I know it won't be long before you catch on completely and take our house (and worlds) by storm. Even though I am so proud of you for growing up and learning this new skill, I am still just a bit terrified! It's time to start baby-proofing everything!

You are super inquisitive. You'd much rather investigate the vacuum cleaner than play with a silly old baby toy. You also put everything in your mouth. Some of your favorite toys right now are your taggy blanket, noisy blocks, and your sister's play hammer.

You have four teeth! You have two bottom teeth that have been in for a while now and you just recently got your top right front tooth. The latest one to come in is the one to the right of your right front tooth. I don't know if that makes sense, but basically instead of having two front teeth, you have a front tooth and the one right next to it....we hope the rest of them come in correctly! :)

You are doing much better sleeping through the night. You usually go to bed between 7 and 7:30 and will go until 3:30 or 4:00 before needing to eat again. Sometimes you will also wake up between 7 and 4 but just usually need your pacifier.

As far as eating goes, you have really embraced solids! You are still nursing through the day but you sure do love your sweet potatoes and squash and carrots! You also love the baby food that has fruits and oatmeal in it. You are a very messy eater and you grunt and get super excited as you await the next bite.

You are mostly wearing size 9 month clothes but you have a few 12 month things that fit you. You are in size 3 diapers. Nammy just bought you your very first pair of real shoes! They are so cute and they are a size 3! You have a big foot! :) You don't mind wearing them so far and I think they make you look so much older.

We absolutely LOVE having you as a part of our family. Your sweet smile and precious personality bring us such joy. :) I can't wait to see what the next month brings our way!!!

I love you to the moon and back fourteen million times!

Love,

Mommy

Mama's Helper!

2011-11-03T20:52:00.000-05:00

So, don't let this photo fool you....she isn't always this willing to help out, but I thought this was just too cute not to document!

We've been really working on small chores for Miss Lauren to do around the house. :) I love watching her succeed and then seeing how great she feels about herself when she does!!!

I love my little girl so much!

My Little Superhero

2011-11-03T08:52:00.001-05:00

Easton is getting SO BIG. Let's not even talk about the fact that tomorrow he will be seven months old. How is that possible? Seriously, wasn't it just last week that I was in the hospital having him? No? Hmmm...sure seems like it!

My mom found him these size 12 month pjs (and they barely fit!) and I just couldn't resist putting them on him. He looks like SUCH a little man in them. I could just eat him up!!!

I spiked up his hair after bath time. :) Lauren looked at it and said, "Awww, look at my handsome boy!" Hahah!!!!

Easton's eyes are phenomenal. I seriously cannot believe how blue they are in real life. I'm praying he uses them for good in the future. :)

Lauren had on her new pjs too! Aren't they cute? I also like how Easton looks all like, "Hey...whazzup?"

I can imagine that this little man will be his mama's superhero often in the years to come. Who else will save me from the imaginary bad guys and all forms of mischief? I can't wait.

30 Days of Intentional Kindness

2011-11-02T15:39:00.000-05:00

I am so excited to team up with Jenae from I Can Teach My Child for her awesome 30 Days of Intentional Acts of Kindness with Your Kids Challenge!!! The month of November can get extremely hectic (and IS for us with us moving) but I don't want that to get in the way of us taking time to model and teach our kiddos about being kind! I am so excited to get started (even though we are a couple of days late...we'll just tack on a few at the end, haha) so here are a few of my ideas!!!

1. Write to our sponsor child, Leo.
2. Pack one (maybe two) Operation Christmas Child boxes.
3. Bake banana bread (or some sweet treat) and take to our new neighbors.
4. Leave a "Welcome Home" gift at our old house for the new occupants.
5. Write handwritten notes of encouragement and include pictures created by the kiddos.
6. Leave a thank you note/gift for our new mailman.
7. Take a meal to a friend in need.

Do you have any great ideas? I am really praying that this month will open my eyes and help me be more thankful and more generous! I am praying that these intentional acts of kindness will help replace my old ugly selfish desires with putting others first! I am excited to start!!!

I LOVE FALL!!!

2011-11-02T15:25:00.000-05:00

Today was one of the most beautiful Fall days we have had so far. The leaves have been falling all day and the weather is gorgeous.

I took the kiddos outside today for a little while to explore and play in the leaves. We've been reading Fall books over and over and over and Lauren couldn't wait to get outside and kick those leaves!!!

I love his little chubby hands on those leaves!

It is kind of sad to think this is the last year those kiddos will ever play in the leaves in this yard. Thankfully there are lots of beautiful trees at the new house. :)

Worst Mama Ever

2011-11-01T14:57:00.000-05:00

If you are wondering where our pictures are from Halloween this year....you won't find them. Because we didn't dress up. I didn't even buy the kids costumes. We didn't trick or treat. We didn't even have candy to pass out.

Yep. I get the award.

I hate that I feel so guilty about it. But I do. The kids were sick anyway. But they won't have pictures from this Halloween. They don't even know that their mama dropped the ball this year. But I do. I. DO.

My parents had a hay ride. We didn't go. I hate that. I wish we would have.

Next year, right? I mean this year is just absolutely too stinking crazy for words. We are literally living between houses. Packing and cleaning. Packing and moving. Packing and being super exhausted.

But, still...no trick or treating. Ugh.

I'm sorry kiddos. I'll make it up to you. Pinky promise.

THE HOUSE!

2011-10-28T19:52:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness!

We sold our house today. We bought a new house today. We are renters today. We are home owners today. Confused? :)

The people who bought our home from us are graciously allowing us to rent from them for the next week while we get moved into our new house. We are so excited because this is giving us time to paint the kids' rooms (Lauren wants purple, oh dear) and do a few minor repairs and clean! clean! clean! before we move in!!!

And, about that new house....

we. love. it.

Ain't She Purty?

2011-10-26T17:42:00.002-05:00

Like the new blog look? Squeal!!!!!

Me! Too!

A HUGE thanks to Molly at Life Made Lovely Designs. I think she made this blog pretty stinkin' lovely, don't you? :)

Also, this company and sweet Molly were SUPER easy to work with. I literally emailed them yesterday and have a blog up TODAY! WOW!!!! Molly took my ideas and just ran with them...totally and exactly and perfectly what I had wanted but had no idea how to do!!!! LOVE IT!!!!

Peanut Butter Cookies

2011-10-25T08:43:00.000-05:00

So when I was pregnant with Easton I started craving peanut butter on everything and in everything and almost every day. I'd always liked peanut butter but never just had to have it until then. The obsession has continued on even though I'm not pregnant anymore. I am. not. pregnant. :)

My Aunt Juju taught me how to make the most simple and delectable peanut butter cookies I've ever had and today I am gonna share them with you. Be warned, they are dangerous. Because of their extremely short ingredient list and the ease of making them they can be made up at almost any time. Even at 9 pm right before bed when all you really need in the world is just a peanut butter cookie.

Peanut Butter Cookies

1 cup sugar
1 cup peanut butter
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla

Mix ingredients together (I use my KitchenAid mixer because I use it for everything and I am too lazy to do it by hand.)

Use a cookie scoop (or teaspoon) to form your cookies.

If you are feeling extra feisty (or hormonal or tired or....) dump a handfull of chocolate chips in there and mix it around good....nothing goes better together than peanut butter and chocolate. Seriously.

Bake the cookies at 350 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes. I like mine to come out still a little soft because they do set up some after they are out.

Seriously SO GOOD and SO EASY!!!!!!

Mamas and Movies

2011-10-24T14:35:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a great day. Shawn and I got up and got the kids and ourselves ready for church. Our good friend Stephen is our Sunday School teacher and we have been learning so much!

I thought Lauren looked so darn cute but she refused to smile for the camera. Oh well, real life, right?

Easton looked handsome too!

When we got home my mom was here ready to take me out to a movie! A movie!!! The two of us!!! We were talking on the way there that we couldn't even remember the last time we had gone to a movie together. It was definitely before Lauren was born! It was time!

We were so excited before the movie that we had to stop and take a picture! I think we look a lot alike in this photo. :)

We met up with my awesome sister-in-law, Victoria and her mama, Pam. It was a lot of fun to hang out with them!!! We went to see The Help and it was so good!

Later on we met my dad at Lowe's and looked around for a bit.

Easton loves to ride in the cart. Thankfully they make these great cart covers, because otherwise...yuck!

I love this picture of my dad and Lauren because she was going in for a kiss. Ha! She sure loves her Big Papa!!!

It was such a great day and such a WONDERFUL break from all the packing and house stuff! :)

Pumpkin Patch Love

2011-10-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

This afternoon we headed to the pumpkin patch with the kids. We'd spent most of the morning packing up boxes and getting our garage organized for the move so it was definitely fun to get out and enjoy the awesome fall weather with the kiddos!
We went to this same pumpkin patch last year but must have gone when it wasn't as busy. This year they were having their costume party thing so there were a ton of people there. Of course, our shy little one was a little overwhelmed at first. Thankfully, it didn't take too long for her to warm up to all the fun. It's so hard to believe that last year at this time I was newly pregnant and this year our little man is here and our family has changed so much!

Easton was obsessed with the pumpkins and we could not get him to look away from them for anything. :)

I absolutely love this picture of my two babies. Lauren was so great to try to hold her bubba while we got the picture. She is the best big sister ever and he absolutely adores her.

Picking pumpkins! We actually didn't end up getting any. They were pretty picked over and since we are moving so soon we decided to just enjoy the pumpkins we already have at home.

Easton is teething right now so he chews on absolutely everything right now. He looks like such a big boy to me sitting up in the stroller.

I love this little girl more than words can express. She brings a joy to my life that I never even knew existed before her. I thank God every single day that he made me her mama. How lucky am I?

My heart swells when I see these two together. She is a daddy's girl and he loves her so much. I am a daddy's girl myself and I would want nothing less for my girl. There is something so special about that relationship.

She was just brave enough to stand on the hay bales that all the other kids were running through. She wanted me to go in with her but it was only for little ones so I couldn't. Even though we tried to reassure her, there were just too many kiddos running wild in there for her to feel comfortable enough to go for it.

For the record, we are a John Deere family (as evidenced by her sweet boots) but the only tractor available was this blue one... ;)

Of course, no visit to the pumpkin farm could be complete without a trip to their awesome farm playground!!! Do you see me there in the background? Yep, I had to climb up in there for her to play.

Look at these eyes! I die. Seriously - where did those bright blue babies come from?

Shawn even went into the barn with her. What a daddy, right?!?!

We had so much fun and both kids really enjoyed being outside. It was the best break from packing and stress over moving. :) I wonder what next year will look like...

This Old House

2011-10-20T18:49:00.001-05:00

A friend asked not too long ago if I was going to miss this house and I all too quickly responded with, "no, not really." I mean, we are excited to move. We've been dreaming of moving for a while now. We've wanted more space to roam both inside and out and even though we do love the house we are in now, we both always kind of knew (or hoped) it would be temporary.

We moved into our current home almost exactly three years ago. To some people (okay a majority of people) that might seem like a short time. Maybe even too short to make another move. But Shawn and I both feel really good about this move, about the home we are moving into, about the town our kids will come to know as their hometown. We hope to really settle in. Put down roots and make a ton of memories. We are excited to make this new home our dream home. It already has SO many of the qualities we've both dreamed about and we are confident that with some elbow grease, a little time, and a lot of love it can be perfect for us.

But, back to our current house. I realized after I popped off with the matter of fact answer that, no, we weren't all that attached to this house, that I was wrong. We are attached to it. And in the little things and day to day happenings in the last couple of weeks I have seen the walls and hallways and floors and yard with new eyes. And, I will miss it. For a million little reasons.

This house is where I really found my feet with being a stay at home mom. I can remember sitting on a barstool in our kitchen one day about a year into this journey. Lauren was down for a nap and I sat at the bar and cried and cried and cried. I had reached a point when I knew I was going to have to commit myself one hundred percent to this job and quit Painting Pictures of Egypt.

Lauren learned to walk on the hardwood floors of our kitchen. And soon became my biggest fan and helper. She even baptized herself in the guest bathroom toilet. Good times. Good times.

We celebrated Christmases and birthdays and anniversaries. We bought balloons and made more cakes and cookies than my thighs could ever need.

Lauren chased bunnies and played ring around the rosie in our backyard. Bubbles and chalk, though long washed away, left their mark. We found favorite bedtime stories and delighted in the little girl who begged to read them all just one more time.

We brought Easton home from the hospital. Lauren became a big sister. Shawn and I, parents of two. We fumbled through the early stages of sleep deprivation and learned that our hearts really do double in size. That we really can love each child completely and wholly and unconditionally.

Our marriage thrived. It struggled. It thrived again. There were arguments over dirty socks and cups left out. And there were special moments too. There were dates when we felt like kids again ourselves.

There are more. Some too precious to even write about. This home will always, always, have a very special place in my heart. Not for the brick and morter....but for the memories. For the life that was lived between those walls. I'm sure that even as we pack up the last of the boxes and move them to our new place, there will be tears. Because there are tears now. Because how do you leave a place that has so shaped you in such a short time? Because, how did I just now begin to realize it? Now, when I have such a short amount of time to remember and will the images of my children playing on the living room floor or sleeping in their very first bedrooms to stick in my mind?

Reading

2011-10-17T09:19:00.000-05:00

I love to read and I want my kids to love to read too.

Sadly, though, I haven't been that great about being purposeful about reading to my kids while we are home. We always read bedtime stories, but we haven't ever really been consistent about setting aside time throughout the day to just sit and read together. Last week I did a little experiment...I brought out a bunch of different picture books and stories and we sat on the living room floor together and read. And read. And read. It was wonderful and it made me realize what a fun and beautiful bonding time we have been missing! Easton mostly just chewed on board books but Lauren seemed to really soak this special time up.

Then, last night, as I was catching up on blogs I read this post from one of my favorite bloggers. She found an article HERE about reading aloud chapter books to pre-schoolers. The thought behind it fascinated me and made A TON of sense! It seemed spot on to me from what I already know as an educator and what I already know about my sweet girl!

So, now I am so excited to decide what chapter book we are going to start with. I found a great list of ideas here and I think we will start small and work our way up. I can't wait!!!!

Daughters and Mirrors

2011-10-13T12:07:00.000-05:00

*I wrote this post for When You Rise but wanted to include it here for our memories too!*

It is a little unnerving having a daughter. I know what is ahead for her. I know the pressures she will face from this world. I know that she will question if she is pretty enough or good enough. The world will want her to believe she is only as good as the clothing she wears or the style of her hair. I know because I have been there. Because I am there.

She is only three. But, I know that it is never too young to teach her the Truth. I pray that these little seeds I plant through scripture songs and crafty projects will bury deep inside her heart and bloom in the days to come when she needs them most. Because she will need them.

I decided that a scripture I definitely wanted buried inside her heart was 1 Samuel 16:7 -"Man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." We used the Songs for Saplings CD that had this verse put to music to help us learn the words. We really love this CD! It is another one we can have playing throughout the day and never get too tired of it! (Also, you can find free printables for the verses on this CD here...we didn't use them this time, but they look like an excellent resource!)

The first thing we did was find the verse in my Bible. We read it out loud taking it word by word. I knew the first part might be confusing for her, after all she is three and "outward appearance" has never even entered her vocabulary. The easiest way for me to explain this was to tell her what I saw when I looked at her...brown hair, a pink shirt, happy smile, etc. Then, I let her tell me what she saw when she looked at me. Her answer? "A mama." Ha! She finally got it and even had the chance to look and describe the outward appearance of her brother, Easton. Then, we talked about how God could see our hearts. We use the terms happy heart and sad heart around our house. We talked about how God could see whether we had happy or sad hearts and sometimes even mad hearts. She seemed to really understand that. Sweet and simple.

While we had my Bible out I let her highlight the verse for me. I loved seeing her baby hands highlighting the Living Word. I know I will treasure looking back on this verse throughout the years and remember those sweet hands digging into scripture!

I wish I had a cute printable for you for the next activity, but I don't. In fact, I literally drew these two mirrors, heart, and basic face shape about 5.6 seconds before we got started. That's pretty much my life right now. :) But, it's okay. I'm okay with it. And the mirrors don't look too bad. At least you can kind of figure out what they are!

We put a simple face in one of the mirrors to symbolize the first part of the verse...

"Man looks on the outward appearance

...and we put a red heart in the next mirror to symbolize the second part of the verse.

but the LORD looks at the heart."

The next little activity we did involved the cutest Melissa & Doug Mirror that came with glitter and jewels and stickers for decorating. Lauren really enjoyed this one! I wrote the verse on the backside of the mirror because I know that she is a girl and she will be drawn to a mirror. It is totally inevitable. It's important to me that she have that reminder that no matter what the mirror sees, God looks at her heart. I figure if she is going to look at it anyway, why not have some Truth written all over it! :) It can't hurt, right!?

When she was looking in the mirror I asked her what she saw. She said, "I see God down in my heart." Is that not the most precious thing ever?!?!

I am including this sweet and so funny (I crack up every time I watch it) video to show that even though I worked really hard to sink this verse into her memory, she is still three. :) I am totally okay with the fact that she doesn't have it memorized just yet. Seeds are being planted.

Memory Lane

2011-10-12T06:30:00.000-05:00

For Lauren's first Christmas, Nammy and Big Papa got her the Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Playhouse. She loved it SO much and it was seriously one of the best toys she had at a young age. After time though she outgrew it so it moved to the attic for its temporary home. Since we are moving and everything has to come out of the attic anyway, we decided to go ahead and bring it down for Easton to play with. He absolutely LOVES it. The funny thing is that Lauren loves it too!

Lauren at 7 months

Lauren, 3 years. Easton, 6 months.

10 Goals

2011-10-11T14:31:00.000-05:00

I've been off-schedule and unmotivated for far too long around here. I have my trusty planner but it is seeing less and less action lately. Time for a change! Crystal over at Money Saving Mom has been posting her 10 weekly goals and I love how she broke them into categories. So, with only a few category changes of my own I am shamelessly going to use her awesome outline and idea!

Family/Mothering Goals:

1. Read aloud for 15 minutes to my children every day. Play quiet music and hopefully move into a routine of read-aloud and then individual reading time that lasts a total of 30 minutes.

2. Paint pumpkins together. (Possibly carve pumpkins with daddy if evenings aren't too crazy!)

3. Go on a date with my husband. Yippee!

Personal Goals:

4. Finish re-reading Loving The Little Years.

5. Blog! Here and over at When You Rise.

Home Management Goals:

6. Begin packing up kitchen for move.

7. Continue getting address changed for companies we use.

8. Spend 10 minutes each day cleaning up bedrooms and bathrooms...make beds daily!

9. Begin gathering resources for new Home Management binder to use at new house.

Other Goals:

10. Get garage sale items priced and organized for the sale this weekend!

Happy Six Months, Easton!

2011-10-10T21:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Easton,

Six months. SIX. MONTHS.

Son, you are half a year old. I can't believe it! I can't believe how much I love you. You are the cutest little man I have ever seen and I could just kiss those sweet chubby cheeks a million times every day and not get enough of you!

I think you are starting to look so much older. I can sort of see what you might look like in a couple of years now and it makes me sad to think of you growing so fast. You look so handsome in little button up shirts just like your daddy.

You are such a big boy! We went for your six month check up and you weigh about 18 pounds and are 27 inches long! You are in the 50th percentile for weight and 75th percentile for height. My arms are really getting a work out from lugging you around! I love that cuddle time with you though. :)

You are still nursing every three hours during the day, but we have also started solids with you! Right now you eat carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, apples, bananas, and some mixed fruit and cereals. You are funny about your solids though. If you don't like it, you don't like it. Period. You will close your mouth or turn your head. If you do like it, you will grunt and stick your head out toward the spoon to try to get it. Lauren loves to help feed you. Mostly though she distracts you...you can't help how much you love her and she just cracks you up too much for you to focus on eating!

Sleeping has been quite the adventure lately son. Your daddy and I decided that it was time for you to start sleeping more than three hour stretches at night so for the past two weeks we have been really working on getting a better routine going. At night, you get your bath (which you absolutely LOVE) and then its lotion and pjs time. After that I will nurse you and then lay you down to sleep when you are groggy. It seems to be helping you get in the sleep mode. When you wake in the middle of the night one of us will go in and give your binky to you and then leave. You usually get right back to sleep on your own but sometimes you have to cry a little while. You have been going eight hour stretches now at night without feeding. Now if we can just get you to go that long without multiple wake ups! You can do it!!!

You are fascinated with all of the baby toys that we brought down from the attic. You LOVE the little play house that was your sister's when she was little. You are doing great at rolling over and sitting up on your own. You haven't started crawling yet, but we don't think it will be long. You kind of scoot on your belly now and you are figuring out how to get up on your hands and knees.

You are such a happy little man. You crack up when I say, "ma-ma or da-da" to you. I don't know why it tickles you so much but I love it so I say it a lot. :) You also absolutely adore your big sister. She is so sweet to play with you and she shares her toys so well with you. I love watching the two of you "play" together now.

We have a lot of little nicknames for you. Brother. Bubby. Bubs. Chunky Monkey. Little man. Handsome. Big E. Easy E.

I love you son. I can't even begin to explain how very much. You bring such joy and laughter and light into our home. You keep us busy and exhausted (in a good way). You are teaching me more and more every day about being a mommy and dying to self. I love the way you fit so perfectly into our family. I love how your sister looks out for you and cares deeply about you. I love the way you love her. I love when you fall asleep in my arms and you cuddle right into the crook of my neck. You are a blessing. You are a gift. I am so glad I get to be your mama.

I love you to the moon and back fourteen million times.

Love,
Mommy

Major Life Changes

2011-10-05T06:56:00.000-05:00

So much has been happening in our little family lately but the biggest has been the sale of our home.

We decided to put our house on the market August 1st and a month and a half later we had it sold. Thankfully, we didn't have to move so we had the freedom to sort of relax through the process and wait for the right buyer. Well, God had the right buyer in mind for sure! The details are too personal to share here, but let's just say that we ended up having a LOT of freedom with the closing date and then even had the opportunity to rent from the gracious new owners if we hadn't found a new house by then. We felt that was totally and 100% from God and it gave us a peace about finding the right house and not just settling.

We had pretty much decided and come to terms with the fact that we were going to end up renting for a while. We'd looked at so many houses and the one seemed to be nowhere out there. We had a sort of hard wish list to accommodate and I am sure that didn't help, but we wanted to move to the next house and really settle in (for the long haul...no more moves in the near future) so it needed to feel right and have what we were looking for.

Some of our wish list included:

Large lot (3-10 acres) - The lot we are on has 5!!!
Neighbors nearby (Shawn wanted a retreat from the city, but I am home with the kids so while being out a bit was appealing I need neighbors so that I don't scare myself and in case something happened and I needed a human being nearby...the new house has the best of both worlds...neighbors, but the backyard goes straight to a wooded area and you can't see side neighbors so it feels like you are all alone)
Flat backyard and flat driveway (for the kids a playset & for bike riding)
Basement (the new house does not have this...but after looking and looking, I decided that basements freak me out so we are going to build a storm shelter above ground)
4 Bedrooms (the new house has only 3, but LOTS of space to add on to the house and Shawn is super excited about that possibility in the future)
Kids play room/school room (we got this!!!)
Character, character, character (our first home had TONS of character...large baseboards, original wood floors, cute exterior....and our new house has these things too plus a staircase that takes my breath away!!!)
Good school district

When we pulled up to the house I just knew it was right. The space felt right. The location felt right. Plus, I adored the look of the outside. *I want to post pics, but even though all the paperwork has been signed, we haven't closed and are working through the inspection part right now. I just don't feel right posting a pic of a house that isn't ours just yet*

I kept glancing over at Shawn as we toured it for the first time hoping and praying that he was feeling the same way I was. I don't know how to explain it, but when we walked in it automatically felt like the place we could raise our kids. I imagined us coming home from ballgames, I saw our Christmas tree set up, I imagined a play-set in the backyard and saw many family dinners on the screened in porch (MAJOR bonus that we are beyond excited about!).

The timing of finding this house was absolutely perfect. Even though we found it weeks after we sold our house, the closing date on the two is the same day! Such a God thing! Also, we think we will still have the ability to rent from the new owners of our current house for a few days to a week to help with the move as well.

I can't wait to finally post pictures and I honestly can't wait to just get over there already. :) The house inspires me and the thought of spending the holidays there makes me so happy! We have a ton of work to do before we can actually move. We need to have a garage sale, finalize all the inspection stuff on both houses, and pack! So, if I am sparse on the blog for the next month, you will know why!

Fall Therapy

2011-09-28T09:12:00.000-05:00

Things have been a little "off"in my life lately. I think my lack of blogging has been a pretty good indication that I just don't have a good grip on anything right now. Another post, another day, but I needed to get that down so I would remember one day when I look back on this season and see only four posts in September of 2011.

Yesterday was a beautiful FALL day!!! I knew I wanted to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather and sunshine with my kiddos. Missouri has this nasty way about going straight from H.O.T. to freezing cold and I don't want to miss the few cool-ish days in between.

I called up Kelly and we decided to meet at a park close to her house (and my old one....I still miss it) and let the kids play and have a picnic lunch. The park is seriously beautiful with big old trees and lots of shade and grassy space for the kids to run around like hooligans in.

Easton was SO happy to be out in the fresh air and I thought this picture was ADORABLE until I noticed the spit up (yuck!!!) on his sleeve. I guess that is real life though. :) A couple of things to note...those cheeks! That tummy! That sweet hair that is really starting to come in! Those eyes! That smile! Those. Eyes.

I'm not sure if Lauren was happy to be there. What do you think? A few things to note about this picture: that kick! That long beautiful hair! That smile! Those eyes!

Kelly's little man, Ryan showed Lauren how to be brave and climb the BIG slide all alone! Isn't he adorable?

I like this picture for a lot of reasons, but the main one is because of those pants on Easton. Ha! They are so super cute in real life, but this picture makes them look like old man pants.

Easton really enjoyed his first slide ride. Right after this picture was taken I just let him go down on his own. Just kidding. But that would have been crazy. Maybe in a couple more months.

Our Baby K'Tan was perfect for our park date.

What a cute little couple!

Yesterday was such a refreshing day for me as a mama. It's been a rough patch here lately and just being out in the sunshine with my two loves (and a super good friend) helped me gain a little more perspective on my life right now.

SO thankful for my friend, Kelly! I love doing life with her. :)

Right Now

2011-09-22T21:27:00.000-05:00

"Trust me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song. You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult time looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today's tasks - or even tomorrow's. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you. Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes. Because I am your Song, I can give you Joy as you work alongside Me."

excerpt from Jesus Speaks

by Sarah Young

Happy Five Months, Easton! (A little late!)

2011-09-13T11:21:00.000-05:00

Dear Easton,

You are five months old! Actually today you are five months and nine days old. Every month I say the same thing, but oh my you are growing too fast! It is hard to even imagine you as a tiny newborn. You are so solid and adorably chubby.

You are a really big boy! You weigh 17 pounds and are in the 98th percentile for height! You are going to be tall like your daddy. :) You are no longer able to wear 3 to 6 month clothes...it's all 6 and 9 month stuff for you now. I just can't believe how fast you go through clothes. We haven't tried shoes on you very often, but you have loooong feet so I bet you would outgrow those fast too.

You are still a really good eater. You eat pretty much every three hours around the clock...that part isn't so great. I wish you would give me longer stretches of sleep at night, but the most I can actually ever count on is three hours. Some nights you will go as long as four or five hours between eating, but those nights are few and far between. :( We are getting ready to start you on solids (this week!!!) so I am hoping that by adding that to your diet you will be able to sleep longer periods or even through the night! You are napping through the day alright. You usually take one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and then a cat-nap in the late evening. You have slept for as long as an hour and a half during a nap time but most of the time your naps are more like 30 to 45 minutes.

You are a super happy baby. You smile and laugh and talk to us all of the time. You are a mama's boy big time. If you are upset or tired I am usually the only one who can get you calmed down. Although it is sweet and endearing, it is also a little bit tiring on me. I know this is only a stage, though so I am trying to just embrace every single moment of it!

You have outgrown your swing, but still like to sit in the bouncy seat. We got your excersaucer down and you really love it. You have just figured out how to bounce in it and that makes you really happy. You also really like your high chair. I can put you in it with a few toys and you stay happy while I clean the kitchen or get dinner going.

You have TWO teeth! You got them right before your five month birthday. It seems really early to me, but you are a big boy so I guess it was time! You want to put everything in your mouth and you love to chew/suck on my shoulders when I carry you around.

Son, you are a joy to our family. I love how it feels like we have never been without you. I love everything about you...even your lack of sleeping skills. ;) It is so hard to believe that you are almost half a year old.

I love you to the moon and back fourteen million times!

Love,
Mama

Well...Here We Go!

2011-09-06T09:25:00.000-05:00

A while back I alluded to the fact that I had a decision to make regarding a special project a friend of mine had asked me to come on board with. Well, after much thought and prayer and too many changes of my mind, I decided to face my fears (and there are many!) and say YES!

If you feel like it, hope over to When You Rise and look around a little bit. We are super excited about the project and are praying like crazy that the site can become a blessing! I'd love to know your thoughts!

Queen Esther Day(s)!

2011-09-02T21:21:00.001-05:00

Lauren has been fascinated by the story of Queen Esther for quite some time now and it is one of her most requested Bible stories. We have this book and she can almost "read" it (she has it memorized) word for word. I don't know if it is the little girl in her that is drawn to the story of a queen and her bravery, but I am thankful that God has planted the seed of desiring to read His Word in her heart at such a young age!

We spent lots of time reading the story of Esther from various children's Bibles that we own. Because she is still young, we mostly hit on the main points. I wanted her to know that Esther was a girl just like anyone else. Nothing made her more special or able to do what was right besides the fact that she loved God and she decided to be brave for Him. (One thing I LOVE about God's Word is that it really is accessible for all ages...I know that years from now mine and Lauren's conversation about Queen Esther will look different from this first lesson, but to me that is SO exciting!!!)

I made Lauren a special princess lunch one day. Before you think I am a ninja with my mad sandwich cutting skills, I used these awesome Lunch Punches to make the crown sandwich. I used sprinkles on Nutella for the bottom and yellow sprinkles for the tips of the crown. The Cheez-Its are the Scrabble version (way cool!!! and so yummy!!!) and then I just served her some buttered noodles. This was not necessary, but she loves when I make her fun lunches, so I thought I might as well make it somewhat applicable to what we were studying! Thankfully, this lunch was a hit with her!

I chose the verse, "Nothing is impossible with God." from Luke 1:37 to teach Lauren. I thought I wanted something from the actual book of Esther, but this verse kept coming to mind. The more I thought about it, the more perfect the verse seemed for the lesson and for her little heart.

We used our clothespin verse cards that Desiré introduced us to to learn our verse this week. I found that even though Lauren can't read the words on the cards, she still really loved putting the cards on one by one and then pointing to them as we sang the verse. You can download the free printable here if you're interested. (I purchased the adorable graphics from here!)

I totally made up the tune to the verse on the spot and you will mostly just hear my voice until the end (I. am. so. sorry.), but as shy as my little girl is I was just happy she actually agreed to be IN the video! (As a side note, this verse has been invaluable as we are in that toddler stage of, *insert whiney voice* "I caaaaaaaaaaan't!")

For a few little craft activities we made a queen crown out of yellow foam, glitter glue, and jewels! I can't find where I got the pattern, but I found this one HERE that would work.

And, we made a Q is for queen craft. I found the idea for this one HERE. As we talk about Bible stories I always try to incorporate some preschool appropriate learning skills as well. We have been working on letter recognition, so although this craft isn't exactly about Queen Esther, it gave us an opportunity to talk about the letter Q!

Lauren also had fun coloring this Queen Esther picture that I found HERE. It's been a goal of mine to try to have coloring pages that Lauren can work on while I am getting dinner ready. She doesn't like to do things on her own. She would prefer that I was right there with her and these pages make it easy for her to learn a little independence too.

We also watched the VeggieTales version of Queen Esther's story. To be honest, Lauren wasn't too into the movie (and I wasn't that impressed either since it seemed to stray from the actual story line of Esther). I don't think that it really added anything to our learning, but it was nice to cuddle up together to watch the show and I don't ever discount the value of snuggle time with my little ones!

One of my favorite activities was when we acted out the story. It ended up being such a beautiful day out that we decided to pretend play outside! I had originally planned on using her little table and her play food, but with our spur of the moment change, I grabbed a blanket and one little box of her food and we went with it. Lauren pretended to be Esther and asked the King (yours truly) to attend a dinner and bring Haman (played by the handsome Easton Barry). Then, she served the food and told the King about Haman's plan. It wasn't perfect, I coached and encouraged her a lot, but I think acting it out helped solidify the order of events for her.

Poor Easton had to play the role of Haman. He didn't seem too fazed being cast as the "mean man" and he sure enjoyed his dinner, so I think he should be just fine! :)

It also gave me lots of opportunities to ask her questions as we went along. I love to know what her little mind has absorbed from our little lessons. And, the teacher in me is always looking for areas of misconception that need to be corrected!

(Even though Lauren is young, I wanted her to know that "God's people" (as most of her children's Bibles referred to) were the Jewish people. Most of the time when she talks about it she uses the term, "God's people" as it is easier for her to grasp and understand at this age.)

In all honesty, we took more than one day to complete all of the things shown here, and we didn't get to a few things I had planned for. As much as I wanted to do it all at once, I'm learning that life with a baby and a toddler is very unpredictable and it's way better to roll with it than get frustrated that it isn't "perfect". And, the most important thing, above all props and movies and activities, is that our little ones are learning what God's Word has to say to them!

Not So Fast, Mister!

2011-09-01T16:36:00.000-05:00

Easton.

Seriously man.

Rolling over, sitting up, and two teeth in a matter of a few short weeks?

This is just all too much for this mama.

Can you slow it down a little? I'm not ready for my baby to be getting so big.

"My Feet Tickle"

2011-08-31T23:09:00.001-05:00

Lauren. Lolo. Sweet child.

Where has my good little sleeper gone? It seems, to my dismay, that she left when the binkie left.

Everything I feared about getting rid of that little pacifier has come true.

Bedtime is a nightmare. A fight. A giant headache.

You cry.

You scream.

You kick.

You make excuses...

Tonight your feet tickled.

Now what in the world am I supposed to do with that?

Nursery Tour...5 Months Late :)

2011-08-31T11:06:00.000-05:00

I had every intention of having Mr. Easton's nursery tour up before he was born. Almost five months later, here it finally is! I blame the sleep deprivation and the fact that when I actually have the time (or the arms) to take pictures he is in there sleeping, and umm, hello, no thank you very much. Sleep is a rare jewel around here and we do not take it lightly.

I wish my photography skills were better, but they aren't and we have no plans to work a nicer camera into our budget for the time being so these pics will have to do! Unless someone wants to gift me a camera. *Crickets* No one? Really?

Let's start with the view from the doorway looking into his room. Like that shadow on the lefthand side of the picture? You would think a professional took these pics, right? Also, the nice smudge in the middle of the picture is classy too. :) As you can see, the canvas I painted for him is hanging, but I still haven't decided upon or written his verse on it.

The curtains are black-out and were pretty inexpensive (considering we splurged on Lauren's from Pottery Barn) from Target.

As you can see this is the changing area. We used the same black furniture from Lauren's nursery. We found the boxes that hang on the wall and the black mirror at Target. That big box usually has one of his stuffed animals in it, but for some reason it was gone in this picture.

What's that? Bad lighting and another blurry spot? You are SO welcome! The vinyl sticker with his name was found here on Etsy and there really isn't anything else on that wall...we are still trying to figure out if we should keep it that way or add something...

When I found this fabric we used in his bedding on Etsy I knew I wanted to build his room off of it. The bright orange and the lime greens and blues just drew me in. The bedding was handmade and created by a lady on Etsy. We absolutely love it! My Meme Bandy made the sheets and that minky dot fabric is sooo soft and cuddly!

Ahhh, the bookshelf. Remember it? My amazingly talented husband created it for me after I could not find anything like it around here. I LOVE it so much. Even more since I know it was made by his own hands. He made one for Lauren's room too. You can see pics of her room and that bookshelf here!!! :) The painted canvas on top of the shelves was done by Lauren for her little brother before he was born. I just gave her some paints in the colors of his room and let her go at it. I think it turned out fabulous and she loved that she had a big part in decorating his room.

The license plate map was the first art piece we chose for the room. (We found it at Target for around $30.) Shawn and I both fell in love with it and knew it would be something we could use in Easton's room for a while! The pictures left of the license plate picture were taken when Easton was almost four months old. The one to the right is an ultrasound picture of him. My friend Carissa made the awesome name art piece and the shadow box on the black shelf is incomplete but will hold his baby beanie hat, hospital bracelets, and his birth stats!

The big comfy chair in the corner is one of those furniture pieces I will never be able to get rid of. I nursed and rocked Lauren many a night in that thing and now I visit that sweet chair every night (multiple times!) with my Easton.

The rug in front of the changing table was a steal at Target! I found it on clearance and I just couldn't believe my luck! They were the absolute perfect colors!!! That door goes to his closet which you can see a little bit of here.

All in all we really love his room and I think that the pictures really don't do it justice...it is way more adorable in person! I love that the colors and patterns we chose can grow with our little man and we can add different elements as he grows up.

Sweet Lauren

2011-08-28T18:38:00.000-05:00

My little girl is becoming such a darling little lady these days. Of course, we have our moments, but she has made me laugh or get misty eyed more times in the last few weeks than ever. I wanted to record a few of these sweet memories so that I don't forget them!

Almost every day since Lauren was a baby I have asked her at the end of the day when we are cuddling and winding down for the evening what her favorite part of the day was. I always want to have open communication with her and I want to know what sticks out in her mind as totally awesome. I can remember asking her before she could talk and I would answer for her. These days, however, she is big enough to answer for herself. I've loved hearing her thoughts on what makes each day special for her. Some days it is that trip to the park. Other days it has been watching a movie (right now it is Tangled) together. The other night, I was giving Lauren her bath and I was sitting on the side of the tub with my feet in the water. She decided to sit beside me with her feet in the water and then she looked up at me with the sweetest face and said, "What was your favorite part of the day, Mama?" I almost lost it! It was seriously the most adorable moment ever. All of these nights I had asked her and now it was her turn to ask me. Loved it!

The other day I was playing with Lauren and Easton and I said, "I think I should throw Easton in the trash, right sister?" I was kidding, of course, but Lauren looked at me with a look of shock and said, "No! We need to keep brother. I love him!" And she really does. I am constantly amazed at the way that she looks out for him. She is the first to get him a toy or his binkie when he cries and she wants to make sure he is okay at all times.

I love my little girl so much and I cherish these little moments now because I know that before I know it they will be gone and we will be on to bigger and different sweet moments and challenges.

What a Big Boy!

2011-08-24T09:18:00.000-05:00

We finally got down the jumper from the attic for Easton to use. He's been holding his head up really well for a while now and he is super strong so we figured that he was ready to try it out. I am so glad we did because he loved it! It was so adorable to watch him try to absorb all the colors and toys and things to touch. He looked so overwhelmed at first.

It was soon pretty obvious that his favorite part of the whole activity gym was the teething sun. He grabbed that thing right off and pretty much stuck to playing with it.

I LOVE this picture of my little man. He is just too stinkin adorable!

Shawn wanted to make sure that I explained that Easton is not wearing capris. Ha! This picture sure makes it look like it though! What a little doll!!!!

Women's Conference

2011-08-23T15:00:00.000-05:00

On Saturday my dear friend Kelly and I headed to my hometown to participate in a Women's Conference my growing-up church was putting on. Actually, Shawn, Lauren, Easton, Kelly and I headed to my hometown. Shawn had to lug the kids along so that every three hours he could bring Easton to the church and I could feed him. Why will that sweet child not take a bottle?!?

The conference was really great. We enjoyed the speaker and I feel like I learned a lot by being there. We also got to take part in a couple of fun break-out sessions. The first one we went to was a "Spa Session". I was hoping for a massage, but alas my name did not get drawn. We still had fun soaking our feet and having some girl talk time.

Our next session was "Cupcake Decorating"! We were super excited for this one and had huge dreams that we were going to uncover our hidden talent of amazing decorating ability, get discovered by Food Network on the spot (why they were at the conference in my dreams I don't know) and get asked to start our own cupcake show. I hate to disappoint you all but that did not happen. However, I was pretty impressed with our mad sunflower cupcake decorating skills.

The frosting we had to use was pretty much straight up Crisco and sugar so we weren't on any kind of sugar high at all. Nope. Not at all.

The conference was a lot of fun and we are already looking forward to next year!

Octopus Lunch

2011-08-22T21:15:00.000-05:00

I've been so excited about starting preschool with Lauren this fall. Our year officially starts in just a few weeks and I've had our first theme on my mind so I decided to make a little lunch in anticipation of it.

Can you guess our first theme?

(turkey octopus sandwich with royal icing eyes and cheese mouth, sliced cucumber (seaweed), Scrabble Cheeze-its, and apples cut to look like coral)

Rainbows

2011-08-22T14:05:00.000-05:00

Lauren and I love to create with chalk outside. It has been so steamy this summer that we really haven't had a lot of opportunities because the sidewalk has been too hot. Last Thursday night was a bit cooler though so we seized the chance to get creative!

We had just watched a Sid the Science Kid episode on rainbows so we decided to sing the song they sang and make our own.

"Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet too!"

As we sang the song, Lauren would hand me the color of chalk we needed. I drew this rainbow...

...then she drew her own!

She even made sure there were white clouds on either end of it!

She was really proud of her rainbow and I was so excited to see her complete it all by herself! What a big girl I have!!!

This activity was so fun because not only did she get a review in colors and a chance to work on her fine motor skills (holding the chalk and drawing half circles) but we got to talk about the great story behind the rainbow. I love hearing her tell me about things she's learned from the Bible. I love knowing that her little heart and mind know that God made the rainbow.

Life Ramblings

2011-08-21T21:21:00.000-05:00

Life has been changing at rapid speed the past few weeks into months around here. I'm desperately trying to soak up all the moments and memories, but they are gone before I know it.

My children are growing. Too fast. It is one of the weirdest oxymorons to me that everything in me fights their growth and yet everything in me wants them to grow up healthy and happy kids. I'm scared to death of missing these days with them. Yes, I stay home and yes we are often together 24 hours a day, but I know that it is completely possible to be next to someone and to not be really there with them. I want to be present in their lives. Too often I choose cleaning over playing, worry and stress (or even embarrassingly the internet) over quality time. I'm feeling such unrest about this.

We've begun attending a new church. Shawn and I both felt so led to do this. But there have been questions asked of us. People doubting us. That is hard. It is hard when neither one of us have the answer they are looking for. If you know me at all, you know that I do not like conflict. I do not like feeling uncomfortable. There is absolutely no way I would have chosen this path if I didn't feel God telling me to. We've attended for several weeks and while I love the service and the teaching I am getting there, I still feel alone. I feel like an outsider. How hard it is to give up comfort and security of a place you know and a place that knows you.

I've got a big decision on my mind right now about a very special project I've been asked to be a part of and I am feeling Satan attack me from every single end. I keep hearing that I have nothing to offer. That I am too much of a mess to be able to help anyone. I hear that I am incapable. Am I? I'm so scared to make the wrong decision because one of my dearest friends is vested in it. What if I really am incapable? What if I really don't have anything to offer? What if my being a part of the project makes it less than what it could be? That it should be?

I've been a sorry excuse for a friend. I've been too busy and too wrapped up in my own struggles to take time for my friends. I feel like a liability instead of a blessing. How do I fix it? What do I say? I know that having two kids has given my friendships a hit. It is harder to get out. But, I miss our play dates. I miss our mommy talks.

I feel as though I am doing a million things right now but not a single one right. Easton is still not sleeping through the night. Lauren has hit the terrible threes. I'm more stressed out when Shawn gets home than happy. My to do list booms ever present in my ear and there is dust all over my house.

I feel all this pressure in my chest and I've been fighting it daily but it's keeping me quiet here on the blog and it's keeping me quiet in my life. I figured if I just let it all out then maybe I could breathe regularly again.

Hey Babies

2011-08-21T20:15:00.002-05:00

Lauren and Easton had their well check ups last Friday and I wanted to record their stats here so that I don't forget, because let's face it...they both have sorry excuses for baby books and the best chance of them ever knowing how big they were at 3 years and at 4 months, is this blog...their only hope.

(longest run-on sentence anyone?)

Lauren at 3 years:

Weight: 31 1/2 pounds (60th percentile)

Height: 37 1/2 inches (50th percentile)

Easton at 4 months:

Weight: 16.3 pounds (70th percentile)

Height 27 inches (95th percentile!!!)

Head Size: 43 1/4 (75th percentile)

Tummy Time Love

2011-08-14T12:35:00.000-05:00

Shawn's mom found the neatest little tummy time mat for Easton. He has never been a fan of being on his belly so we were thrilled when he really liked the mat and would stay for longer than a few seconds! The mat is so neat because you fill it with water and when they push around on it the little fish inside move all around. He absolutely loves it and it is on my new go-to list for baby gifts! I do like to keep an eye on him while he is on the mat because I don't want him to face plant into it and not be able to breathe, but he has done a great job so far!!!

The Next Great Cake Decorator

2011-08-14T12:20:00.000-05:00

For Lauren's birthday she received a cake decorating kit from her Aunt JuJu and Uncle Darell. We'd been super busy and hadn't had a chance to get it all out and decorate anything until last week. We finally bit the bullet and went for it.

It was a little advanced for Lauren but she and I worked together to make it work. She helped me roll the fondant out and put it on the tiny little cakes but her favorite part by far was decorating with the icing and sprinkles.

The cake tasted about as good as it looked...which was awesome, right? Ha!

To My Three Year Old...

2011-08-09T14:49:00.000-05:00

Dear Lauren,

I seriously cannot believe that you are three years old. I keep asking myself how that even happens. In so many ways it really does seem like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms for the very first time. When I think back on all we have gone through, all the firsts we have seen together, it feels like a dream. Did you really never sleep through the night? Were we really ever dealing with a teething baby? Did you really learn how to crawl, then walk, and better yet say my name? I look at you now, all grown up, all girl, and I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed that God chose me to be your mother. Overwhelmed that you love me. Overwhelmed that I get to pour my life into yours.

You are such a funny little girl. You keep your daddy and me on our toes. You love to make us laugh and you do the silliest things to accomplish that. You've started singing us songs as we go about our days. One of my favorites lately is simple titled, Dishes. This song is sung loudly and as you dance around the kitchen while I put the dishes away. Cracks me up!

"My wike hewp do disses, but my no wike hewp do disses!!! My wike hewp do disses, but my no wike hewp do disses!!!"

You have the most tender heart. You hurt for others when they hurt and you look out for everyone around you. If a friend of yours wanted one more chicken nugget, you wouldn't hesitate to give them yours. You stop everything you are doing to get Easton a binkie or talk to him if he is upset. You give out hugs and kisses and make everyone around you feel so loved.

You are very shy around people you don't know. You like to have your own space and aren't a fan of people or kids who get into yours. You've been known to leave a playground set because there are too many kids playing on it. Once you warm up a little bit you usually do just fine, but it can be a painful start for you.

You wan to eat all of the time. If it were up to you you would have a sippy cup and a snack with you every waking moment. I have to give you some credit in that you will usually pick a healthy snack to ask for but ice cream can also be heard as one of your most asked for snacks. You love peppers! The bell variety as well as those little sweet peppers that are red, orange, and yellow. You also love fruit. For lunch you prefer turkey or chicken nuggets to peanut butter.

You are so much fun to be around. You are starting to really get into pretend play. I love to hear you talk to yourself as you play with your kitchen or with your dolls. You are just too precious for words! You are also really starting to get into Disney movies. Your favorite right now is Tangled. You could watch it over and over and over and over. You even sing along to some of the songs in the movie. I think it is adorable!

I can't imagine our lives without you in it darling child. I feel like the absolute luckiest person in the world to be able to spend my days with you. I wish I could freeze time and keep you this small forever but I know you need to grow up. I pray for you daily, my daughter. I am so excited to see what God has planned for you but I intend to soak up every single moment with you in the process.

Here is a little interview I did with you on your third birthday (your words are in pink):

Do you like to sleep? No. Cause I no like to.

What is your favorite thing to eat/drink? Water, tea. I like nanas (bananas)
What are your favorite shows? I like Mickey Mouse, Dora and Boots. I like...ummm what's that girl name? Oh yeah, Tangled.
What are your favorite songs? Um, Dora and Boot. No, I like sing “Happy de de de de dee” “Mary had a wittle wam, wittle wam”
What makes you sad/frustrated? I don’t know.
What makes you happy?
(Smiles) Mommy
What makes you laugh? Easton!
What is love? You (pointing to me)
What do you know about Jesus? Mommy.
What is your favorite Bible story? Esther and the King
Who do you love to be with? Mommy (sweet smile) Daddy and Easton
Where do you love to go? Ice cream place to get ice cream. The one with white and orange chairs.
Is being three better than being two?
Uh uh. Cause I want to be two.

I love you to the moon and back fourteen million times,

Love, Mommy

Bye Bye Binkie

2011-08-08T22:17:00.000-05:00

Well, it is official. Lauren has been binkie-free since last Friday. That girl has been attached to her binkies since birth and even though she has only used them for naps and bedtime the past two years it was SO time to let them go. I've kind of given her some grace these past few months. With Easton coming and all the changes we've had I just never felt like I was ready to tackle it.

I don't know what got into me on Friday but I just felt like it was time. As we headed back for me to tuck her in I mentioned that her binkies had germs on them and they were icky. She immediately decided she didn't want to put them in her mouth anymore. I was cheering her on and jumping for joy inside. I just couldn't believe it was going to be this easy! If I had only known...

As I was getting ready to leave her room she started fussing. I went back in and tried to talk her down from her freak out. It seemed to work for a little bit. We prayed together that God would give her bravery. I told her how proud I was of her. And then I left her to try to sleep on her own. About five minutes later she was crying again. After a quick trip to the bathroom she was back to trying to get to sleep. (She never did this with a binkie...she always fell asleep right away.) I felt sick inside. I couldn't give in and give her binkies back to her. But, I felt like I was breaking her heart by taking them away.

My biggest fear this whole time has been that by taking them away it would mess up the sleep schedule that she's been on for so long. She has never been hard to get to go to sleep, always loved her nap time, and does really well with enough sleep. This naptime experience was already shaping up to be my worst nightmare.

She finally fell asleep and slept for twenty-five minutes before waking up screaming again. I felt myself tense up and get super frustrated with her. I went in and tried to talk her back into sleeping but she was having none of it. I felt like crying. What in the world had I done to myself? It was like taking away the binkies and her dropping her nap were going to go hand in hand. Selfishly, I was terrified that would be the case.

That evening was no better. Screaming and bawling and kicking and throwing the worst fit I have ever seen my daughter throw. All because she didn't want to go to bed. She never asked about the binkies but she refused to sleep. Shawn and I were pulling our hair out. Questioning ourselves. And I might have even cried a bit again.

Flash forward to today...it's not really any better. She is still binkie-free but bedtime has become a nightmare. I don't know where my sweet sleeper went, but taking the binkie away has unleashed some kind of monster in her. I feel like I am at my wits end as far as the sleep situation around our house. She hasn't asked about or for her binkies since last Friday, but she has not slept well since then either.

I know that it was the absolute right thing to do. I know that it was time. I just don't know how we are going to make it through the next however many days until things become normal again around here. I don't like feeling like a mean mom for letting her cry. I don't like fighting with her over it. I'm tired enough as it is. I keep praying for God to give me patience with her. For Him to give me the grace I need to give her. I just pray that we survive this little season.

Happy Four Months, Easton!!!

2011-08-08T15:46:00.000-05:00

Dear Easton,

Son, you are growing so fast! It seems like every time I blink you have grown another inch or are learning something new. This past month has been a lot of fun since you are really becoming an active part of our family. You love to be involved in whatever we are doing and you charm us all with your darling smiles.

You are so big! You weigh 15 pounds and are growing out of your three month clothing! Three to six month clothes fit you best, but you wear some six month stuff too. I feel like I am packing away clothes and bringing out new sizes before you have even gotten a chance to wear most of it. We are so thankful for some dear friends who have loaned us many of your cute boy clothes.

You wear size two diapers and we go through a lot of them! You are definitely all boy! When you have a poopy - you go all out. You haven't peed on me in a while now so I am either getting faster at changing you or you are a little more in control of yourself!

One major milestone happened this month! You started sleeping exclusively in your crib. No more sweet bassinet for you. I know that it was time since you were practically longer than the bassinet itself! Ha! I didn't want to move you because I loved you being right beside me, but you are so much more comfortable in your big boy crib! I really hoped that by moving you to the crib you would sleep longer. Well, the first few nights you did great, going five to six hours straight. Not so much anymore. You are up at least every three hours still and I'll be completely honest...it is starting to wear on me a little. I have huge dark circles under my eyes from you little man, but I guess they are worth it.

I feel like this past month we've been given a sweet glimpse of your personality. You are definitely a mama's boy and love to be held, but you also really like to have your own space. You will lie on your blanket in the living room and watch everything around you "talking" to us and smiling (especially when we play peek-a-boo with you). You still adore your sister and she can make you laugh really easily.

You are a pretty good eater, although you still will not take a bottle! We've tried so many different kinds and you are not having any of them. Nammy fed you oatmeal cereal for the first time this past week while Daddy, Lauren, and I went to a pool party for Daddy's work. I think we are going to add it to our nighttime routine with you...maybe it will help you stay more full for longer? And sleep longer?

You are super close to rolling over. If you could get your arm out of the way you would be gone. You kick your leg over and have the most fun flopping around. You still like your bouncy seat even though you are really getting too big for it. You also still sit in your swing every now and then. We have been talking about getting your exersaucer thing out soon. It is so hard to believe you are almost ready for that!

We think you might be cutting a tooth (or two teeth) on the bottom. You are mad chewing on everything right now. You've also been a little more cranky than normal. I can see just a little white bump on the bottom but nothing has broken through yet. It seems really early for you to be teething! I've given you tylenol a couple of times when nothing else seemed to soothe you. You do love your teethers. Especially the ones I put in the fridge to get them really cold for you and your Sophie the Giraffe.

You have brought so much fun and joy to our family and we are so blessed that God chose us to be your parents. We think you are just the cutest little boy ever.

We love you so much son and we can't wait to see what big things the next month brings for you and for us. Your laughter and smiles are so precious to us.

I love you to the moon and back fourteen million times!!!

Love,
Mommy

Last of the Birthday Festivities

2011-07-30T21:32:00.000-05:00

Party #3 ~ Nammy and Big Papa's House

Last Sunday we finished up the celebrations for our big 3 year old! My parents graciously hosted the get together and lots of sweet family showed up to spoil our little girl. Lauren decided on a Cinderella/Princess theme and it turned out super cute!

Easton was totally chill during the whole day. He really enjoyed getting loved on by everyone.

Jared's girlfriend, Taylor, is one of Lauren's favorite people. Lauren was pretty much her little shadow all day long.

Easton got lots of love and attention from his Aunt Victoria. I think this picture is just darling because he is smiling up at her!

Lauren was the cutest opening up all her presents. It was seriously like a whirlwind. I couldn't keep track of what she was opening because she would open and throw, and open and throw!

I am so glad I caught this picture of my Uncle Darell, Papa Bob, and Easton. What a cute one!

Lauren enjoyed having everyone sing for her and she did a great job blowing out the candles on her very own #3 cake! I think she felt super special because she had her own. :)

Easton and Meme Bandy (or Baby Meme as Lauren calls her)

Papa Bob and me! Love that guy!!!

It was so great to spend the day with Meme and Papa Hutsell too!!! They are just so cute!

It was such a great day and so much fun to celebrate Lauren once again. I can't believe that she is 3!

Birthday Party #2 ~ The Actual Day

2011-07-26T14:04:00.000-05:00

On Lauren's actual birthday Shawn woke up early to head to the store to pick her up her annual birthday balloons. This year he also picked her up her own bouquet of purple (her favorite) flowers. I just about melted inside when I saw he had done that. I am so grateful that her first flowers are from her daddy. I hope there are many more in the years to come from him to her. I've said it before and I will say it again, she is such a lucky lady to have Shawn as her father. He will show her through his actions and his kind heart just what to look for in a future spouse. What a gift he is giving her even at this young of an age.

Anyway, when he got back I fed Easton and then we all went into her room to wake her up and sing her Happy Birthday!!! She was so shy and crawled right over all her "guys" (stuffed animals) to hug me and bury her head in my shoulder. Ha! She soon warmed up though and we let the festivities begin.

Shawn had already prepared the annual birthday pancakes (which I am SO sad I did not get a picture of this year) and so we all got right to work eating our yummy breakfast. Shawn and I had toyed around and around with the idea of what to do special for her birthday this year. He took off work again to celebrate (which again I think is such a sweet thing for my super busy hubby to do for his girl) but it was so incredibly hot that most everything we would have wanted to do outside was just completely out of the question. :( So, we decided to pack up the kids and head to Branson to let Lauren go to the Disney Store and pick out some things she wanted with her birthday money.

Right outside of the store was this mechanical horse and since it was her birthday and I had enough quarters she got to ride. She liked it for about .5 seconds and then she was all sad faced.

I love this picture of my two favorite men. Easton did so great and slept most of the time.

We came home and let Lauren take a nap and then we headed to Sam's to get her surprise present!!! Shawn and I have been so excited to get Lauren a trampoline and we knew she would LOVE it. I mean, what kid wouldn't right? Well, we get to Sam's and we let her pick out a cake (since I dropped the ball on picking up a cake mix at the store) and headed over to the trampolines. We showed her the box and she said, "My no want it." ~ WHAT? She didn't want anything to do with it. We explained what she could do on it, we showed her the one set up in the store. Nothing. She did. not. want. it. Shawn and I were heartbroken. Our big surprise went out the window. We both decided that since she wasn't the least bit excited about it we would hold off and wait. No reason to spend big bucks on something she has absolutely no interest in. So, we left Sam's with a cake. Totally not what we expected.

When we got home we had dinner and then we sang happy birthday and ate cake. She didn't seem fazed at all that her only present that day from us was a Rapunzle barbie doll she had opened earlier.

She wanted Cars plates and decor for her birthday with us. :)

Here she is making her wish and blowing out the candles. I cannot believe that she is actually three years old. When I look at her I can still see that tiny little baby the nurse placed in my arms three years ago. My heart hurts that she is growing so fast, but oh my she is a beautiful little lady...inside and out.

New Posts

2011-07-20T16:20:00.000-05:00

I'm back! Seems like forever since I've posted last! Here are the newest blog posts...

Hey Baby Let's Go To Vegas

Cars 2

The "Mountains" Fountains

Let The Birthday Celebrations Begin

And, believe it or not I still have posts to come. One special little girl has a birthday tomorrow and a family party this coming Sunday! I've also been working to finish writing Our Love Story as many of you have asked for the next chapter, ha!

Hey Baby Let's Go To Vegas...

2011-07-20T16:15:00.000-05:00

....I wish!

Ha, with two sweet, darling, children (one of whom will not take a bottle) Vegas just isn't an option for us right now. But, have no fear! I decided to surprise Shawn with a Vegas night at home for our anniversary! 7 years seemed like the perfect time to celebrate with a little Vegas theme!

The dinner table aka Super Fancy Restaurant.

Shawn's gift: Half a year's worth of pre-planned dates. Each month has a manilla envelope. Inside the envelope is a clue for him. These will be at home dates since we can't really go out a lot. :) These will be a surprise for him since the envelopes are sealed and can only be opened on the day of the date.

The decor (very classy, ha!):

We had a lot of fun pretending we were in Vegas for a short time and it was certainly nice to spend quality time with the hubs! I'm looking forward to the rest of our dates!!!

*This idea and others came from here*

CARS 2!!!

2011-07-20T15:40:00.000-05:00

Shawn and I were so excited when we found out that Cars 2 was coming to theaters in July! We both knew we wanted to take Lauren to celebrate her birthday. This was her very first movie theater experience ever and we talked it up for weeks and weeks. Nammy was so sweet to come and play with Easton while Shawn and I got to take Lauren out for our little date. She sent us a sweet picture of him while we were at the movie and he seemed to be doing just fine soaking up all of her attention. Poor child doesn't really have a chance when Lauren is around, ha!

Of course, my little shy bug didn't want to take any pictures at first.

Once we had the popcorn though she warmed right up. What a face, right? The flash was pretty bright. :)

Mater* enjoyed watching the movie with us, especially since he was quite the star in this one!

*Shawn and I got Mater when we were a young married couple contemplating having kids. We spur of the moment picked it up in the Disney store knowing it would one day belong to our child. I've prayed many a prayer for my unborn children because of that little tow truck. It is such a full circle for us to see him in the arms of our firstborn.*

Lauren did AMAZING in the movie! Aside from one slight mishap when her clumsy mother spilled soda all over the two of them things went really well. For the record, I felt terrible about dousing my daughter with soda on her first movie outing but after apologizing to her in the bathroom and hearing her say, "It's o-tay Mama" over and over I knew she was fine. We made it through the entire movie (not something either Shawn or I were expecting) and even though the movie was a little "darker" than the first one, we really liked it. Lauren took turns sitting on mine and Shawn's laps and let me tell you those were some mighty special moments for this mama.

Now, what will our next movie date be?

The "Mountains" Fountains

2011-07-20T14:54:00.000-05:00

Last night Shawn and I loaded up Lauren and Easton and headed to "The Fountains" or as Lauren kept calling them last night, "The Mountains" to splash around in some water! It has been SO super hot here lately and so we decided to go a little later in the evening to beat the heat. The fountains run at the top of every hour through the day until 9:30. We got there around 7:00 and it was perfect. There were quite a few people there at first but it dwindled down to just a few of us by the time we were ready to leave.

We hadn't ever been before so we weren't sure how Lauren would like them but we were pleasantly surprised to find out she didn't just like them she LOVEDthem! Shawn wore his swim trunks, but I just wore some shorts and a tee shirt because I wasn't planning on getting wet. That didn't last too long. I tried really hard to stay out of the fountains but I got blasted several different times. Twice right into my open eyes! (Yes, it's on the video too.) I kept looking down to check on Lauren and I wasn't paying attention to where the spray was coming from. By the end I was soaking wet and sore from laughing so hard. It was one of those precious family moments when I just wanted to stop time and stay.right.there.in.it. I wanted to memorize the way Lauren looked in her little bathing suit running through the bursts of water. The way her daddy held her hand and ran through the water with her. The sound of her giggles and the sight of JOY beaming on her face. The tiny little man sleeping peacefully in his carseat and then later waking up and being totally chill and content. If I've learned anything these last three years of being a mother, it's that babies don't keep. Every single day is something new. I love that. I really do. It's just that there are some moments so magical I just can't bear the thought of them slipping past me. I guess that is one reason I blog...to keep those memories alive somehow.

I am such a girl. I totally own that after seeing this picture. Ha!

Our VIDEOFrom the Night: